If a person can vent for a moment(it continues)

Discussion in 'Random Topic Center' started by Hatter™, Apr 30, 2008.

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  1. Hatter™

    Hatter™ Active Member

    How do you know if you have met "the one"?

    How do you? You can think you have met her, and that she has to be the person you will spend your life with.... but you talk to her and she mentions a person.. and you can tell by the way she talks about him that they are meant for each other.. but you don't want to tell her that.. because deep down inside you want her all to yourself... and yet you know that can't happen because love is against you,happiness is against, life is against you... everything seems to be against you...

    What do you do?? All you want is for her to be happy, even if that means her being with someone else... and yet you want to be happy WITH her not FOR her.. but you are not the person that puts you first... you put her first... and that can lead to your demise in the end... but no matter how much you may want her... she is untouchable and you know it even if you won't come to terms with it.... She brightens your day, makes you feel better, listens to your problems, and tells you how much she loves you... but she has to think if she wants to date you... that can make you think deep down in your soul that she may not love you as much as she says she does... but how can one come to terms with that.. when they are in love..... You think everything is fine... but then... he comes up again and you are sadly reminded that no matter what you may do... you can not decide her future... your heart is dangling on a string.. clinging to life and she holds the scissors that DECIDE YOUR FUTURE....

    What will she do with the scissors??? Break his heart or yours??? only time can tell....

    Thank you for your time

    SPARTA New Member

    No one knows what the world looks like beyond the corner.
    There is no such thing as people meant to be together, or "the one". The one is a person you can be yourself with, the person you don't have to pretend you like something all the time when you don't, the one who doesn't force you to do something you dislike, or that goes against yuor beliefs.
    If you can find a person who you don't need to be fake around, and whom you are attracted to not by there face but drawn to the person behind it, then they may be the one for you
  3. secretsof2113

    secretsof2113 Moderator Trader Feedback Mod

    I think there is a person meant for everyone. When you find them, you'll know. You may think that this girl is the one for you, but she might not be. She is probably just someone that you care a whole lot about. Age also has a lot to do with the whole thing. From your profile, I see that you are 18. 18 is one of those ages where you're still going through a lot, and you're not truly going to be sure of things. Yes, once in a while a person is able to find their number one at this age, but odds are, college is coming up, which is a great deal of time for self-discovery, and finding yourself.

    Once you're out of high school, that little bubble bursts, and you're given opportunities that you'd never get in school. That perfect person is out there for you, and when you find them you'll know. It took me until my senior year of college to find the guy of my dreams, and the man I plan to be with for the rest of my life. And I knew when we first met, that he was the guy for me. There really is no way to tell....you just know.
  4. vanderbilt_grad

    vanderbilt_grad New Member

    I’m older and perhaps more cynical now, but I no longer believe that there is just "one" person out there. I think that many people make the mistake of thinking that they only get one shot at love or that being in love means something other than what it really is.

    The reality is that there are probably many people that you could be happy with, some moreso than others true. But still one might share your interests and the two of you have lots of fun together while another might challenge your creativity and together you try many new things. There are many choices you get to make in life and seldom are they cut and dried. If one relationship doesn’t work out there will be others if you look for them ... fulfilling and wonderful ones too.

    I also think that too many folks think that being in love means that they don’t have to work at a relationship. That, if they are truly in love or have met "the one" that things will always be smooth sailing and that there will be no arguments, misunderstandings, or whatever. IMHO nothing could be further from the truth. You get out of relationships what you put into them. And being human it’s inevitable that folks will disagree from time to time on things. Being in love can give you the means to work through such things but it doesn’t mean that they will never happen. All good relationships take maintained and upkeep & there will be good times and bad times that you have to make it through.

    I’ll close with a personal anecdote. In my freshman year of college I met a girl who was AMAZING and I really wanted to date her ... but she was super focused on her school work at the time and didn’t want the distraction. Still we became friends and hung out together as part of a group regularly. My sophomore year she had met someone over the summer and started dating him. He was a real looser but whatever, I still kept up with her and we stayed good friends. When I came back for my 3rd year college, we went for a long walk and I found out that she had broken up with this other guy ... and she told me that she loved me. We had a wonderful time together that year. Ultimately I messed things up and we broke up, but I’m convinced that I’m a better person for knowing her and have fond memories of that time. At the time I thought that she was "the one” but, experience since has shown me that my college girl and I were simply super compatible. I’m married now and my wife and I share some things that my college relationship never had.

    There are nearly always more chances in life if you are open to them.
  5. homeofmew

    homeofmew Active Member

    lol mad hatter found a girl XD
    there is no way to tell if someone if the one.
    Having a love crush on someone is sometimes not the way to tell.
  6. Azure Kite

    Azure Kite New Member

    Well, we all know how to solve this problem. Just call into the Delilah radio program and let her play a love song for you. it does the heart good man....:lol: Okay jk jk.

    Look, there really is SOMEONE out there for everyone. You can get married, but still never find that someone. Your just exactly right, some people you live with will make you feel happier than others. I've never had a girlfriend, and don't plan on having one any time soon. But I still know this. Something you should always remember. There are no "what if's" or "I should had's". There is no shoulda woulda coulda. THERE IS NO SUCH THING. There is no time machine. Looking and spending time on the past is pointless. And thats what many people do, and never get over what happened a long time ago, and they let it ruin their lives.

    You may, or may, not get into a personal relationship with this girl. Not to burst your bubble, but from what I've seen, even though I'm just 14, its just a highschool/early colledge relationship. Odds are, not much will come of it. Your age is a very uncertain age. Again, I don't have to go through this to know it. Just don't let it ruin your life. If this doesn't work out, don't keep thinking about it for years and years and never actuallly find anyones. Women/a woman WILL be attracted to you. Its the truth. Sure, that person may be somewhere in some town not on the Nebraska state map, but there is someone there. I don't focus on this much, its just common knowledge to me, for whatever reason.

    What do you do? How do you live with a situation like this? Take it as it comes. The descisions you make are the descisions your destined to make, and its the way its supposed to be. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You can't think "if only I had done/said something different..". Because you can't, and you won't. Your never going back, and if it doesn't work out, IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO. I hope you don't hate this guy she talks about. He's competing for the prize to, my friend. And only time will tell which one of you is destined to win. Who knows? Maybe neither of you will. Maybe she is struggling too. You can't think its just about you. Maybe shes having a tough time too. Again, only time will tell. I wish you the best of luck with this situation, as a fellow Skittles brother.
  7. garchompx12

    garchompx12 New Member

    if she really likes you, she will respect your pokemon-playing:thumb:
  8. The Fish King

    The Fish King New Member

    I know exactly how you feel MadHatter. I was engages to the most perfect woman for me. Nobody will ever match up to her. To quote Barry Manilow: "When she left me, in all my despair, I just held on. My hopes were all gone." It hurt. It hurt more than anything. More than my mother's death two weeks earlier.

    As far as time healing all wounds. That is a bunch of bull. I cannot bring myself to love again. I don't even date anymore. I guess the fact that I am still madly in love with her even now that I haven't even seen her face in several months - and she wasn't to happy to have crossed paths with me either - doesn't help things any.

    So, yes, I do believe that there is "the one" and I also believe that "the one" might not want you. My only advice is to keep living. You might not be able to move on, but at least keep living.
  9. B_B_C

    B_B_C New Member

    whao. thats some powerful stuff right there.
  10. SPARTA

    SPARTA New Member

    I know how that feels, my Girlfriend when I was in High School was killed by a drunk driver. We had been going out for about a year, and I was probably going to ask her to marry me when we graduated.

    The worst part came when the drunk driver got off scott free, without so much as a mark on his driving record. That completely tore my heart apart.

    Whether there is such thing as "The One" really shouldn't matter, if you do believe in there bieng only one person and you just stop looking after you lose love, then you just made it a self fufilling prophesy. Never give up hope, never stop looking.
  11. Azure Kite

    Azure Kite New Member

    Well, there are always several ways you can look at this "the one" thing. As I mentioned, there is a destiny for everyone. If you look at it from a destiny perspective, there may or may not be someone for you, depending on whether your destined to marry or not. In case your wondering, no the zodiac didn't tell me that, I don't believe in that hocus pocus stuff. And if you want to look at it from the "should woulda coulda" perspective, yes, there is someone for everyone. SPARTA, that is really harsh. I don't know how I could recover from that kind of devistating tradgedy, but again, I'm not even in high school yet. It all depends on how you look at it. The way you look at it, and what you believe won't affect what happens. As The Fish King said, its really all you can do to keep living. Some people have commited suicide/considered/attemped it, all because they're hearts were crushed. You just gotta keep living.
  12. B_B_C

    B_B_C New Member

    I one time felt like doing that. But then I relized that I was only 14 and had my whole life ahead of me......

    Dude girls are like the crazyest people. 1 moment they love you, the next they hate you.
  13. Articjedi

    Articjedi Active Member

    I'm sure most of us have had that one girl. I got over mine, it took a very, very long time. Haven't seen that female dog in almost a year now, and I'm a lot stronger for it. Most of you will get over it, it just takes time, just how much time is what you can't determine. When you meet someone else and you start to have those feelings again, then you know you're over it.
  14. SPARTA

    SPARTA New Member

    Its one of their charms, they keep you guessing.
    If we knew what a girl was thinking at all times, relationships wouldn't be challenging, and thus the reward of knowing you worked hard to make a relationship work would be non-existant.
  15. master of puppets

    master of puppets New Member

    If anyone knows mind games, its them.
    They make it seem like "hey, this girl would go to the movies with me" sometimes, but other times they make it seem like "there isnt a chance in ****".
    Theyre crafty people...
  16. ilikegengar

    ilikegengar Member

    Madhatter, your post is very poetic. It's also touching. This is also a very old question.

    As others have said, I too don't believe there is just one person out there for you-- or a soulmate as some may say. I think you're asking if a certain person may be right for you for a long term (lifetime) partnership. You already know how your heart feels so then you have to ask yourself just what you're looking for in a girl. Be realistic. Even make a list. You can easily eliminate many girls based on what you're looking for in a partner. The love of your life doesn't have to meet everything on that list, but should hit the main ones that are important to you. Compatability goes a long way for a happy life. You can't be over-picky or you won't ever meet a woman right for you. I know many people who've never married because they are too much into details. No one is perfect!

    Dating and engagement is the way to find if someone is right for you. Then, you take a chance and marry. I say take a chance because there is hardly anyone who ever walked down that aisle that wasn't a wee bit nervous!

    I've had my heart broken. You do recover. Time, keeping busy, moving forward and meeting someone new is a way to get over the old hurt. I've been happily married 21 years.

    I wish you the best. Ya never know. This girl may just notice someone named Madhatter who is pretty sweet.
  17. Marril

    Marril New Member

    Trust me, the reverse isn't very fun. "Oh, hey, he might just be thinking an actual, complex thought for once... ah maybe not. Phooey."
  18. SPARTA

    SPARTA New Member

    At least we are simple and easy to understand. You could write a book on guys and it would be about 4 pages long. You could write a book on gals... and never finish.
  19. master of puppets

    master of puppets New Member

    SPARTA is right.
    Dudes wont mess with a girls head and play Jedi mind games with them.
    At least not on purpose.
  20. Marril

    Marril New Member

    Actually, it'd be about one sentence long: "If I can't eat/drink it, drive it, or [do something intimate] with it, then if it's not sports I don't care about it."

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