Team Magma Take Over Plan! coment thead.

[zapydos]

how did ya like my first story? i know the chapters were short but other than that.
~zappy

[Burninating_Torchic]

don't like it. The storyline is too naive and fast paced. It's like you're doing a twist on the Ruby/Sapphire storyline, except it takes like 2 mins to go from start to mid way point.

[Charizardian]

I thought it was good, but you need to extend your vocabulary and not use the same words over and over