Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

A Forgotten Legend

F

for some reason

New Member
A Forgotten Legend


Prologue


It all started with my trainer giving me and his other Pokemon to his youngest son. I didn't know about this until I was let out of my Pokeball... and this is where the story begins...

Chapter 1

The Beginning

I was asleep in my Pokeball when he called upon me. I woke because of the blinding flash of white light that signals my release. I opened my eyes to find myself in a large grove of trees facing another Pokemon. The Pokemon was a tiny blue and white bear with big ears and a large icicle hanging out of it's right nostril. It was a Cubchoo. Then someone behind me yelled "Use Dragon Rage!" That voice. That is not my trainer's voice. "Come on! Don't just stand there! Attack!" And then the person standing behind the Cubchoo who I had not noticed up until now yelled "Cubchoo! Use ice beam!" The tiny Pokemon looked at me and said in a high pitched voice "You're going down!" And then it let loose with a thin fluctuating beam of pale blue light. It simply glanced off of me without even leaving a scratch and then flew over to the right and hit a tree about two hundred feet away which shattered into millions of tiny pieces with a sound like a gunshot. I retaliated by swiping at its head. It tried to dodge it but barely moved before I hit it and it was sent flying into a tree which it went straight through. And then it hit another tree which it went straight through also. And then another tree and another, and on and on until it got to the twenty-first tree where it hit the tree and stopped with a resounding thud and fell to the ground, out cold leaving a sizable dent on the tree where it had slammed into it. Then the person behind me yelled "Ha! And you call that thing of yours one of the strongest Pokemon on earth!? That thing is weaker than a Cleffa!" "But how is this possible!? I beat some of the strongest trainers in the world with this Cubchoo! I don't get it!" "Yeah well undoubtedly my Pokemon is at a different level than yours!" "It can't be! Nothing is that strong! And where did you get that thing anyways! I've never seen or heard of anything like that in my entire life!" "My dad gave it to me when he quit Pokemon training five years ago when I was twelve. He said not to use it unless I was facing one of the most elite trainers. And you are supposedly one of the strongest trainers in the world so I decided to use it against you!" My trainer quit! So this is his son. If my trainer trusted his son with me then I will trust his son too...

Any comments and help with my writing are welcome. I'm not really a writer I just felt like doing something different for a change so I sat down and wrote this. Hope everyone who reads this enjoys that and thanks for any future comments and help. I will post another chapter quite soon.
 
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I'll be putting the next chapter up sometime today and that chapter should answer both of your questions. Thanks for the comments by the way.

---------- Post added 09/09/2011 at 10:45 AM ----------

Here we go:

Chapter 2

Naming a Legend

The last thing that I saw was the other trainer returning the Cubchoo to its Pokeball before that world around me disappeared in a blinding flash of white light. Then I gratefully fell to sleep.... Again I woke because of the blinding flash of white light that signals my release from my Pokeball. This time I had already opened my eyes and I was ready for the upcoming battle. When the light vanished I found myself in a large rectangular tent that was bare except for a sleeping bag and a backpack which were both laying on the ground, the backpack on top of the sleeping bag. I turned around to see who had released me and I saw a boy of about sixteen holding a Pokeball. Upon closer inspection I saw that he stood exactly 6' 2.3952" tall and weighed 182.964810351 pounds. He was wearing a bright green polo shirt with long sleeves, green jeans and a cap of exactly the same green as his shirt. The shirt had a white Pokeball on it and so did the cap. “So,” he said. “You are the Pokemon that my father gave to me when I became a trainer. I don’t know your name so I will have to give you one that fits you.” My name? I have a name? I cannot remember. What was my name...? “I have heard tell of a Pokemon that looks just like you, its name is Sarrian.” That's it! That's my name! “Could it be? No. Sarrian was said to be so powerful that he could completely destroy an entire continent in a second without even using a quarter of his strength! But it must be! You're exactly the same as all of the descriptions in the books! You're 9' 6" tall exactly, you have a wingspan of 12' exactly, You have a tail exactly 8' long with twenty spikes each exactly 3" apart from the ones next to it that gradually grow smaller as you move down the tail the first one 3" long and the last one 1/2 an inch long. You are exactly the shade of red that the stories say you are, your claws are 5" long and not curved one bit just as the stories say they are. Your snout is 4.512397" long exactly and all of your teeth are 1.597324657901" long, exactly as long as they say they are in the stories! AND you took out that ridiculously powerful Cubchoo with one light slap! The only thing that could convince me more is if you used telepathy to communicate with me right here and now!” That's right! I can use telepathy! What is your name. The boy jumped. “Who said that?!” I did. He looked at me and then he said “You?” While pointing at me. Yes. "YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE SARRIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone enjoys it.
 
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Here's Chapter 3. Sorry for the delay.

Chapter 3

Researching a Legend

“It says here that you are able to use any move that you want. Is that true?” It is.
“And it also says that you can use as many moves as you want at the same time. Is that true also?” It is. "It also says that you can transform into the likeness of any Pokemon that you want to. Is that true?" It is. “Then you must be the most powerful Pokemon ever!” I am. It was five past nine and my new trainer was looking through a large pile of books at the Snowpoint City library. It was seventeen degrees outside and almost nobody was out of their homes. Just then the librarian came over, She was a 5’6” tall woman with light brown hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing blue jeans, a red shirt and bright red shoes. She said “The library is closed. “If you want to check out those books then you can but you can’t stay any longer.” “I don’t have a library card and I can’t check out any books unless I have one.” “Then you will just have to come back tomorrow.” “All right, I’ll come back tomorrow then. Thanks for your help.” “No problem. Bye.” We then walked out of the door and the librarian shut and latched it behind us. We were walking towards the hotel that we were staying in when we heard shouting coming from the street to our right. We ran down the street to investigate and when we got to the end of the street we heard another shout and a blood curdling roar. Coming from the street to our left we turned down it and started running again. Once we got near the end of the street five figures came into view. One was a boy of about twelve the second was a girl of around fifteen. The boy was wearing a bright blue tee shirt, blue jeans, bright blue shoes and a blue baseball cap. His shirt and cap had a white Pokeball on it just like my trainers. The Girl was wearing a pale yellow shirt, a pink skirt and bright yellow shoes. She had her hair done in three long ponytails. The other three figures were Pokemon. One of the Pokemon was a small yellow mouse-like Pokemon that had long pointed ears with black tips, a tail in the shape of a lightning bolt, four brown stripes on its back and a round red spot on each of its cheeks. It was a Pikachu. The second Pokemon was a small orange and yellow chicken. It had two tiny yellow wings, a tiny yellow and orange crest on its head, short yellow legs and tiny yellow feet and toes that ended in small sharp looking claws. It was a Torchic. The third Pokemon was a large white bear. It stood 8’ tall and had large teeth and claws. That was about all that I could make out at the time because it was rushing towards that other Pokemon and their trainers so fast that it was a blur. It was a Beartic. Then my trainer yelled “Sarrian use Thunderbolt!” I roared and let loose with a large and powerful bolt of lightning. It struck the Beartic in the face and sent it flying through the wall behind it. It kept going for about five thousand feet and then went halfway through a ten foot thick steel wall and then dropped to the ground out cold.
 
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Hey man, I like the concept behind the story line but... So far I can see no conflict what so ever. Without a conflict your story will begin to appear dull, or just flat boring. Also, I've noticed some spots were you couldve elongated your sentences witha comma but instead you amde a bunch of short sentences... As a reader that puts me off.
 
Free-Knight said:
Hey man, I like the concept behind the story line but... So far I can see no conflict what so ever. Without a conflict your story will begin to appear dull, or just flat boring. Also, I've noticed some spots were you couldve elongated your sentences witha comma but instead you amde a bunch of short sentences... As a reader that puts me off.
Click to expand...

The conflict will begin in the next couple of chapters. I had it all thought out that way from the beginning. I will post chapter four in the next couple of days and then it will get MUCH (and I mean much) more interesting. Thanks for the feedback.
 
Chapter 4



Battling with a Legend



I roared in triumph at my victory over the Beartic. The Pokemon and their trainers all flinched, Except for the girl that is. She whipped her head around with her body following close behind. She pointed a finger at my trainer and said “Was that you???” “No. That was my Pokemon.” “Oh.” She said, “I knew that. My name is Celia and this is my little brother Trent.” “I’m ***lin.” My trainer said, “Nice to meet you.” “Nice to meet you too,” They said in unison. Then the girl said, “Oh! I almost forgot! This is Torchic. She’s my Pokemon and this is Pikachu. He’s my brother’s Pokemon.” “Nice to meet you two also. This is Sarrian. He’s my Pokemon.” THAT’S THE SARRIAN!!! FOR REAL!!! It must be since it took out that Beartic so easily. I’ve heard legends about you!!!” she said while pointing at me. “Are you really as strong as the legends say???” Yes. “Cool!!! Where did you get him???” She asked turning to my trainer. “My father gave him to me when I first became a Pokemon trainer.” “Cool! I want to battle him!” It is pointless. There is no way that you can win. “Well then. We will just have to give it everything that we’ve got!” Alright, I will battle you. “Sounds like fun!” Alright, then let us begin! I then transformed into a Lucario. The Torchic looked up at me and said. “You’re going down!” She said in a high pitched feeble voice. Take your best shot. “Torchic!” The girl yelled. “Use Fire Spin!” The tiny Pokemon chirped in a feeble attempt to sound ferocious and let loose with a small rotating jet of flame. I sidestepped it, ran forward and lightly punched the Torchic in the face so as not to hurt it too much. It flew backwards ten feet into its trainer’s arms. It chirped feebly and then jumped onto the ground swaying slightly from the blow to its head. “Torchic are you alright???” The girl asked. “Somewhat.” “Alright then! Torchic, use Fire Blast!” The Torchic yelled and sent a jet of flame about five times larger then her flying at me. It glanced right off of me and I delivered another light punch to Torchic's skull again sending her flying into her trainer's arms, this time knocked out. “Torchic!!! Are you alright?!?!?! The tiny Pokemon chirped feebly. Return. You did a good job Torchic….” “We should probably get Torchic to the Pokemon Center.” “Good idea. Come on Trent. Let’s go.” I’ll come too my trainer said. “Thanks. Now I am positive that he really is Sarrian.” Later that night when we where leaving the Pokemon Center Trent said to my trainer, “do you think that me and my sister could travel with you maybe??? I just became a Pokemon Trainer and my sister was about to go on another Pokemon Coordinating journey. She’s a Pokemon Coordinator you know.” “Maybe. Ask your sister to see what she thinks.” Hey sis.” Trent said. “Do you think that we could travel with this guy???” “Sure she said. I was just thinking about asking him that myself.” Turning to my trainer she said, “What do you think about that???” “Sounds good!” He said. After that me my trainer and our newfound friends went on to battle and defeat all of the Gym Leaders, Elite Four members and Champions of every single region on earth. And then… it happened….
 
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