Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

Babies take over the city

pokemongenious

New Member
"Baby Pokemon are taking over the city. We have no idea of who is causing all of the mayhem." Said the reporter."If you see any suspicious people tell the police right away."

"We need to get to the bottom of this!" Said Daniel to his brother Andrew.



-------
:pokeball: Chapter 1 :pokeball:

The One Shiny Munchlax
-------

"Andrew, come on, what's taking you so long?" Said Daniel "I need to teach my Chimchar Flamethrower and it is not easy to find one technical machine out of the hundreds I own,"said Andrew "Okaaaaay bro," said Daniel, who was wearing his normal black pants and tie died shirt.

"Daniel and Andrew get down here right now!" shouted their mom. "Yes ma'am," Daniel and Andrew shouted in unison. Daniel and Andrew ran down the stairs to get to breakfast. They spotted four mean Mime Jr. walking down the street causing cars to crash. Now the safest place to be was in your house.

"Don't go out of your house unless it is an emergency and if you do go out of your house we encourage that you bring your strongest Pokemon with you!" said the reporter from the T.V. screen. "What is happening mom?" said Daniel. "I don't know son but I bet it has to do with Team Galactic," said his mom who was still in her night gown.

Andrew gulped down his eggs and asked to be excused. "That lazy boy," their sister Margot said. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Daniel finished his eggs and went upstairs to go into his room. Daniel put on his sweater. "Andrew, want to go catch some Pokemon with me?" said Daniel. "Yes I do," Andrew said. It was hard for Daniel and Andrew to sneak out because their parents didn't want them out of the house.

They went to a lake called The Legendary Lake Of The Lost because rumor has it that legendary Pokemon come here on every full moon to meet and tell the others of what has been happening in each region. They brought their Pokemon with them and ran to the lake. Team Galactic got to the lake first. Daniel and Andrew hid. They were about to dynamite the water but then Cyrus said "Stop! We need to wait until the moon appears because if it is not full our plan will be foiled." And then Team Galactic left the lake and headed back to their HQ. Team Galactic made one mistake... They left the dynamite in place.

First Andrew and Daniel put the dynamite somewhere safe then they went into the tall grass they found something, something rare, something really rare, a shiny munchlax. A shiny Munchlax that knows Hyper Beam!!! Daniel and Andrew had one master ball to share they both agreed that Daniel could use the master ball and keep the shiny Munchlax all for himself!!! There was something odd about that Munchlax... It wasn't being controlled.​


---------- Post added 02/20/2011 at 10:24 PM ----------

------
Chapter 2
The Rampage
:eek::eek::eek::eek:
------

Daniel went to a Pokemon center to get Munchlax from the PC. Andrew went to the Pokemart while Daniel was at the Pokemon center. Andrew was trying to buy more technical machines but when the clerk said "Sorry you don't have the money." Andrew said "Drat!" At the lake Team Galactic was mad because the dynamite wasn't where it was supposed to be. They put more dynamite then they waited... Daniel went home with Andrew and they snuck back into the house so they wouldn't get in trouble.

The moon appeared. Cyrus said "Blow it up!!!" The Galactic Grunts did. Cyrus had been planing this all along. He only needed two of them. He had two master balls. Cyrus needed Dialga and Palkia. If he got them both he could rule the world. How could he catch them? CRASH BOOM BANG Cyrus didn't catch either for an obvious reason, they were the rulers of space and time so Palkia just made the master ball disappear and Dialga will just distort time to where Cyrus never threw the master ball. When Cyrus didn't succeed in catching either of them.

He got angry. Very angry, Cyrus was so angry that he sent his army of baby Pokemon on a rampage through the streets. Daniel and Andrew had been so excited about the shiny Munchlax that they forgot to check the news. Their mom on the other hand was keeping the T.V. on at all times and when she found out about the rampage of baby Pokemon. "Daniel, Andrew get down here NOW!!!" said their mom. Daniel and Andrew did as they were told and ran down the stairs to get to the kitchen.

"What's so urgent that you need to yell at us to get downstairs?" said Daniel. "Didn't you hear? Someone sent the army of babies on a rampage!" said their mom. "Does Margot know about this?" said Andrew. "oh no Margot!" said their mom "She's not in the house!" "Mom, were sorry but we snuck out of the house to go to the lake and we caught a Munchlax. But it isn't a regular one, it is shiny, it knows Hyper Beam and it's not being controlled," Andrew said "We used our one master ball." "You used what???!!!!" said their mom furiously. "We used the master ball we got for Christmas, but we saw that the rumor is true! Legendary Pokemon meet at the lake at the full moon. We also figured out that Team Galactic is behind the baby Pokemon rampages. Please don't ground us," said Daniel." With this info I think we should tell the police our suspicions," said their mom.

This night Daniel and Andrew snuck out again to see the rampage. Baby Pokemon were everywhere. They couldn't win. The baby Pokemon were strong. Daniel sent out his Munchlax. Daniel gave the Munchlax a rare candy so it could level up. "Munchlax," said Munchlax. Daniel and Andrew had never thought that baby Pokemon could be so strong. They were now in the street. The baby Pokemon were now attacking them. The baby Pokemon dragged Daniel and Andrew back to the HQ.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
It's good, but you might want to slow down the story a bit: one second I'm reading about teaching a Chimchar Flamethrower, then 2 seconds later, a Shiny Munchlax is rampaging. Other than htat, I like it ;)
 
"Daniel and Andrew get down here right now!" shouted their mom. "Yes ma'am," Daniel and Andrew shouted in unison. Daniel and Andrew ran down the stairs to get to breakfast. They spotted four mean Mime Jr. walking down the street causing cars to crash. What makes the Mime Jr. "mean"? Their action? Are they making mean faces? Now the safest place to be was in your house.

They went to a lake called The Legendary Lake Of The Lost because rumor has it that legendary Pokemon come here on every full moon to meet and tell the others of what has been happening in each region. They brought their Pokemon with them and ran to the lake. Team Galactic got to the lake first. Daniel and Andrew hid. What is on their minds? Do they recognize Team Galactic immediately? Is there anyone else present? What do they expect Team Galactic to do? They were about to dynamite the water but then Cyrus said "Stop! We need to wait until the moon appears because if it is not full our plan will be foiled." And then Team Galactic left the lake and headed back to their HQ. Team Galactic made one mistake... They left the dynamite in place.

First Andrew and Daniel put the dynamite somewhere safe then they went into the tall grass they found something, something rare, something really rare, a shiny munchlax. A shiny Munchlax that knows Hyper Beam!!! How did they know this? Did it use Hyper Beam? Was it attacking them, their Pokemon, or anything else? Did they realize that it was shiny, or just think it was funny-looking? Daniel and Andrew had one master ball to share they both agreed that Daniel could use the master ball and keep the shiny Munchlax all for himself!!! Why did Andrew agree to this? Did they argue about it at all? There was something odd about that Munchlax... It wasn't being controlled.

My comments are in green.

You're only describing occurrences and details. Show what the characters are thinking.
 
------
:pokeball:Chapter 3:pokeball:
The Galactic HQ
------


Daniel and Andrew were scared. They each only had one Pokemon, Andrew had a Chimchar Lv. 10 and Daniel had his one shiny Munchlax Lv 15. The two brothers were ready to battle if they had to. Team Galactic grunts are everywhere. Cyrus was in the middle of them with the commanders, (Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.) " We need as many Pokemon as possible to make our new world. If we get enough Pokemon we can rule the world, even the universe!!!" Said Cyrus. " We must take the Pokemon from people to make our army of Pokemon!!! Saturn, bring five grunts with you to Cedoo Forest and get us as many Pokemon as you can. Jupiter, now you also will bring five grunts with you Ganex City, take as many people's Pokemon as you can. And now for you, Mars, you take ten grunts with you..." " What how come she gets ten grunts?" Said Saturn. " Because she has a larger area to patrol, as I was saying, Mars you need to go to Xecomo Cave and outside of it. You will catch all Pokemon you see including trainer's Pokemon. All three of you will be using my latest invention, I call it the Pokeball B Belt. It is a strap that you strap onto a pokeball and it boosts the catching rate and it also allows the user to catch opponents Pokemon. Now go!!!" And Cyrus ended his speech.​
 
Back
Top