English IV Paper

Discussion in 'Random Topic Center' started by Pinsir52, Mar 19, 2008.

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  1. Pinsir52

    Pinsir52 New Member

    I had to write a paper for my english iv class about a time when either I betrayed someone, or when I was betrayed. What better to write about than Pokeymans!?

    Treachery, treason, and betrayal, in all of their many forms, are parts of human nature. Since the dawn of time, brothers have killed brothers and sons have murdered fathers. For whatever the reason, some are able to completely disregard all morals and act entirely on ambition, ignoring all that are caught in their wake. I believe that everyone is capable of betraying a friend or loved one, even if over small matters. I am no exception to this theory, for I have indeed betrayed and been betrayed.
    On that day, we knew that by the end of it all, one of us would have all the glory. On that day, the great tournament was held. We would finally determine which of us was greatest. Christopher, Matthew, and I were participating in the annual Pokémon City Championship tournament. At this point, we were sure that Christopher would rise through the bracket and claim the title of City Champion, because he was better prepared than Matthew and I, and because he was usually the victor in our practices. Then, the moment of truth descended upon us. Christopher and I were to bout. As the golden opportunity presented itself, I knew I could win the match early. I also had the option to throw the match, so that Christopher would not be eliminated from the tournament, and go on to claim his rightful title. However, out of selfish pride, I dealt the fatal blow. It was by incredible luck that I won the match, and it cost my cousin his only shot at the title. I had betrayed him.
    Immediately following the encounter that left Christopher in immense disappointment, I find that my next match will be against Matthew. Unlike Christopher, who, at the time, was immensely better than I, Matthew’s talent rivaled mine so much so that the tension that arose between our duals seemed to rattle the very ground on which we played. We both knew that the victor of this match would go on to the finals, and we both desired to be in the finals with a fiery passion that you could see in our eyes. This clash went on and on, but, in the end, Matthew emerged victorious. He destroyed my chance at claiming a second place title, and any chance I had of leaving the tournament content.
    I have experienced both ends of betrayal. I deceived my dear cousin, and been betrayed by my utmost friend. This proves that all men are capable of treason, even in affairs as petty and innocent as Pokémon tournaments. This is a key aspect of the human condition. For all time, and all time that has yet to come, men will betray.

    I thought it was rather funny, and my english teacher knows Chris and Matthew, so she'll think it's funny. Tell me what you think pokegym people.

    PS--at this tourney, Chris was playing GG, I was playing Empo/Lucario, and Matthew was playing Ampharos/Weavile
  2. ryanvergel

    ryanvergel New Member

    There's a lot of repetition and cliche in this essay.

    I also don't think your argument is sound- that your conclusion (all men will betray) follows from your premises (instances of you cheating).

    Besides, your argument doesn't even appear to be valid (validity stems from the inability for your conclusion to be false while your premises true. But the thing is, even though your premises are true- the conclusion can easily be false, so your argument is not sound and not valid... it's a very poor argument).

    Aside from your general argument, a lot of the essay lacked sensual language, had grammar issues, was generally cliche and trite, and was generally confusing and short.
  3. Professor_Chris

    Professor_Chris Active Member

    I don't really see any betrayal. I second everything Ryan said, and I will add that it seems unnecessarily wordy. It's like you had a lot to say about nothing.

    From my understanding of the assignment you were given (from what you said), you just had to write about a time you had been betrayed or had betrayed someone. If that is the case, there was absolutely no reason to make broad, sweeping statements without any support about how everyone will betray someone especially since your tale contains no actual betrayal.
  4. Pinsir52

    Pinsir52 New Member

    I know, it's a crappy paper and has nothing at all to do with betrayal. I did in in like 15 min. because I didn't realize it was due the next day. I just thought that Pokemon would be a funny topic. Oh, and I didn't cheat in the match with chris, i just T2 brined a lone ralts (stupid DF ratls!)
  5. Fox McCloud

    Fox McCloud New Member

    This looks exactly like a paper I would write! Except my paper would be a little more boring. I got a 30 out of 60 on an English paper earlier this year.:lol:

    What grade are you in and when will you find out how you did?
  6. Hagrid23

    Hagrid23 New Member

    english IV= senior
  7. Umbykirb

    Umbykirb New Member


    I shouldn't be talking, since I'm younger than you Pinsir. However, I find it sorta short. I really don't know the assignment, so maybe it's supposed to be short?

    Anyway, this was at Cities, right? Poor Matthew, however I seem to agree that winning was the right thing to do, because the person in the top cut is supposed to be the best, and forfiting to let them in would feel wrong (but this is just me).

    Funny story! Did not know this until now. I miss too many tourneys.

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