Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

Holon's Legacy

Sketch

New Member
Prolouge

Unlike most stories told about the wounderful world of Pokemon, this one doesn't begin with a hero battling his way to the Pokemon League or walking with his companions into some twist of fate adventure. No, this tale is a much darker one. One that begins in a dark forest, on a dark night. A creature was sturing in the harsh brush of the forest floor. It's fur became twisted and tangle as it scampered by hords of bush and fallen leaves, It paused in a clearing it entered to catch it's breath, it's ears erect and alert to any sound.

It quickly scans it's suroundings, seeing nothing but trees and darkness behind them. And then the sound of dry leave crunching behind it signaled it time to leave. It darted forward not knowing where it was going, but anywhere seemed better then where it had been. Growling and howling sounds drew closeer and closer as the Pokemon increased its speed, to no avail. Human voices could be heard in the distance, each one different, each one frightning to the already scared Pokemon. It dare not glance back at its presuers for fear that it might be caught. Suddenly, it caught a sent flowing in the wind. Food! The Pokemon mind driffted, its stomach turning and aching. The aroma of food had aroused the thought that it hadn't eatin in a long while, which had been pushed aside by the reality of the chase at hand.

The sounds of its presuers krept closer and closer as the Pokemon shifted corse, following the sent of food. With the sound of howls and growls close behind, the Pokemon despritly looked for a sign of hope. And then, after what seemed like eternity, the Pokemon cleared the forest into a feild. As it continued, it saw a wooden house with smoke bellowing out of the chemny stack in the distance, and the Pokemon realized that's where the sent was coming from. It began barking repeatedly to signal it's approch. Behind it, three wolf like Pokemon, with black and white fur jumped out of the forest. The Pup Pokemon glanced back to see exactly what was chasing it. Drool rolled out of the three presuers mouth as they glared at their prey. The crys from the pup Pokemon became louder as it approched the House.

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Marcus was enjoying his dinner when him and his parents heard the cries from out side. The young man leaped out of his wooden chair, knocking his plat off the round table, splatering it contense onto the floor beneath. His mother gave him the look, the look that only a parent could give that let thier child know that they were in trouble, but Marcus payed no attention to it. He hurried to the window and saw the small Pokemon running twards the house as fast as it could, with the other three wolf like Pokemon in close presuit.

"Oh my god." He blurted outloud.

His father quickly rushed over to his side at the window, and was speechless at what he was seeing
.
"What is it, John?" the mother asked, expecting that she would have to get up and see for herself.

"Marcus, openthe door, and when I tell you. open it. Angela, get my Poke Ball." John comanded.

Marcus ran to the door and Angela bolted to their beedroom. She grabed the red and white colored ball off the dressor and ran back into the dinning room, knowing that the time for questions was not appropriate at this moment and to trust her husbands words. Marcus patiently waited for his fathers signal as the cries from outside got closer, but he found out that his wait would be long, for his father had droped his hand from the air. Marcus opened the door and noth a moment later the small Pokemon had ran inside panting despretly trying to catch it's breath.

"Close it now!" John yelled as he backed away from the window and rushed to Angela's side.

She handed him the Poke Ball with a question that he could easily read from her expression. Still he chose not to answer as he heald out the Poke Ball.

"Come on out, old friend." he comanded as the Poke Ball poped open. In a blaze of brilant bright, flashing light, a Pokemon appeared in the middle of the living room floor. It stood upright, and was flexing. Its muscles bulked out and it had a noticibale head dress in the form of three small plates that ran from it's forhead to the back of its head. It turned to face it's master, awaiting a comand. "Machoke, we have company."

The door bursted open to the floor as the first of the three wolf like Pokemon was jared from the impact. The small Pokemon, filled with terror, jumeped into Marcus' arms, who was standing next to wall directly infront of the door. a second Pokemon jumped over the first with with its maw open and fangs showing. Time seemed to slow as Marcus thought at this moment his life was to end. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a greish blue fist emergefrom what seemed out of nowhere, connect with the jaw of the attacking Pokemon, and send it flying out the door from wince it came. The Machoke steped infront of the door, blocking further entrance, and let a growl that sent shivers down Marcus' spine. The Pokemon that had knocked over the had made it's way to its feet and joined the other two who were making their way back to the forest.

"Marcus, you all right?" John asked his shaking son.

"Yeah."

"Good job, Machoke." John complemented as he noticed the pokemon in Marcus' arms. "A Vulpix?"

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"Sir, the subject has evaded us. It made it's way to house on the other side of the forest. Shall wee proceed?"

"No, come back for now. It's not going anywhere and we don't want anyone asking more questions then they are already asking."

"Roger." the man said clicking a button on the transceiver in his ear to turn it off as he head back into the forest.
 
For all those who are reading, your questions might be answered...

Chapter 1

John sat back in his brown recliner stroking his tabaco pipe as he puffed small amounts of white smoke into the air. He couldn't make sense of the nights earlier transgressions, and he staired at the Vulpix as if trying to read its thoughts to gain some insight to the questions pleaguing his mind. The Vulpix looked at peace as it rested its head on Marcus' forearm, its six tails swaying back and forth accross the young mans upper leg. It's fur was a medium brown with red tints highlighting its tails and the fur on top of it fox like head.

"Father, um , you said this was a Vulpix?" Marcus asked inquizitivly.

"Yes, it is." he answered noticing Marcus wasn't satisfied. "It's a fire type that evolves into a Ninetails. It's a rare Pokemon around these parts. As a mater of fact, I only recall seeing them when trainers are passing through. Its strange to see a wild one in these parts."

"What were those other Pokemon and why were they chasing it?" Marcus continued as he stroked Vulpix's back.

"They were Mightyena, a dark type Pokemon. Wild ones hunt in packs, But these look different. Did you notice how their fur overly shined in the moonlight as they ran away? Something was different about these paticular Mightyena. The way they attacked and moved, looked like they are being trained."

Marcus looked down at Vulpix, admiring its ruff beauty. "Can I keep it?" he asked. His father gave him a look.

Just then, Marcus' mother walked in with Machoke who wiping the leftover food particles from its mouth. It sat down in the middle of the living room next to the small woodedn table, and looked at the resting Vulpix. Angela took a seat next to Marcus on the couch adjacent to John's recliner.

"Sure, honey." Angela answered.

"Really?"

"No!" John snaped.

"John, he's seventeen. He's been stuck on this farm for his whole life, with no friends. Besides he's old enough to take care of it on his own." he argued. Now John was giving her the look, "Don't look at me like that." she rebutled with a **** eyebrow.

"Fine. Marcus, raising a Pokemon is a big responsibility. If you show it love and take care of it, it will return love and take care of you."

"I understand. I wont let you down."

"It's not me you have to worry about." John nodded in Vulpix's direction. "In the morning take it to the Pokemon Center in town. Nurse Joy will give it a check out and a Poke Ball. Now, go to bed, you have a big day tomarrow."

With that Marcus got up gently, cluching the now sleeping Vulpix, and headed into his room. Angela sipped out of her tea cup from dinner, as Machoke meditated silently.

"What's wrong, John?" Angela asked.

"Nothing"

"Don't give me that, I'm not stupid." John looked away from Angela as she continued. "He is going to leave sooner or later. Fate has set him on his course. You should be happy for him. He finally got a Pokemon, and soon he will set out on his adventure, just like every other young Pokemon Trainer."

A tear came to his eye as Machoke sensed his masters sarrow. John look down at Machoke who's eyes began to water with John's, and staired for a moment, contemplating.

"Well, my friend, we have work to do." a hint of a smile shown accross Machoke's face as John looked up at Angela. "He will begin his trianing when he returns from the Pokemon Center."

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It was pitch black in the room. Nothing was visable except a giant screen that illuminated a figure of a man sitting at a deck in front of it. Schematics and pictures flashed across the screen in an array of multi colors and shapes.

"Sir..." a voice said from some where inside the dark room. "...How would you like us to handle the situation?"

"Send one of your men, Captain. He is just a mear farm boy. He is not a trainer, so the task should be easy. Don't harm the boy, thats the last thing we need. If our secret get out, then all i've worked for will be for not."

"I understand, sir"

The Man conttinued on reading the screen filled with computer data as the other man left the room silently.

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The sun's light broke through the window of Marcus' room as it rose, waking him gently. he sat up in bed seeing Vulpix at the other end. It's ears flickered as it woke up and looked at Marcus with a questioned look on it's face. Marcus got up and began to get dresssed. He pulled out a white shirt and a set of brown overalls out of his dresser.

"We're gonna take a trip into town" he said with a smile to Vulpix.

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The Town was full of life. Murchants lined the street as people stoped to look at the diffeent productsthey had for sell. Marcus guided Vulpix down the graval street, the Pokemon seemed to be amazed at everything going on.

"Marcus!, Hey, Marcus!" a voice yelled from behind him.

He turned to find a young woman dressed in a blue aprin and a pink shirt, with sleeves rolled up, and a red bandana in her head walking up. She was slinder and had brown hair. Vulpix leapt behind Marcus as the girl approched.

"Hey, Mary."

"Wow, long time no see."

"Yeah, i've been working alot on the farm."

"Really, and who's this?" she asked pointing at Vulpix.

"Oh, yeah. Mary, meet Vulpix. It's my new Pokemon."

"Wow! When did you become a Trainer?"

"Oh, I'm no Trainer." he replied with blush running across his face.

"I..." Mary was cut off by a voice behind her.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here. Marcus Angly." a boy said as he walked up to the other two.

"Thomus Landry. What an unplesant surprise." Mary replied.

"Hello, Mary." he said with a dirty look. "I see you got yourself a Pokemon. What, are you a trainer now?"

Marcus gave him a angry look.

"Well, hows about a little battle?" he asked with a devious smile.

"I don't think so." Marcus replied as he turned his back and began walking in the other direction.

"Chicken!"

Marcus continued walking as he thought to himself. Marcus didn't know the first thing about battling except from when he watched his dad training Machoke back on the farm. Mary joined him when Thomus picked up a rock and threw it at him. Vulpix's ears flicked and it turned to face the airborn object. It's eyes glowed blue as the rock stoped inches from the back of Marcus' head. The fox Pokemon gave a bark, in turn making Marcus turn around to find a small brown rock right in his face. Sartled, Mary looked down at Vulpix.

"Marcus, look."

He saw what Mary was pointing as he matched her gaze at Vulpix. The rock fell as Vulpix continued to glare at Thomus as he threw his Poke Ball out. As the light disapated, a Pokemon appeared. It had a pointed nose and a larg leaf growing off the top of it's head. Vulpix growled and Marcus gave Thomus a angry look. He looked at Vulpix who returned his look.

"Well, it looks like we have no choice." He said. " Go, Vulpiux."
 
Chapter 2

Dust blew accross the street as Marcus and Thomus staired each other down. Marcus began questioning his discision. He was more then a novice at Pokemon battles and he was sure that Thomus new this. His best bet was to bluff his way out of this confrontation. But what to say...

"My Nuzleaf will make short work of you Vulpix." Thomus spouted.

Thomus has allways picked on Marcus. The Landry familie is one of the richest families in Holon, and throught his entire school career, Thomus made it job to make sure life was not fun for Marcus.The boy wasn't much taller then Marcus, standing at just under six feet, his short blond hair glisened in the sunlight. Marcus couldn't deny that he was envyous of Thomus, although he never admited it outloud. He alwas wished that, just once, he could beat Thomus at his own game.

"Sure it will." Marcus replied. "Judging by Nuzleaf's appearence, it's a grass type."

"Duh. Figure that one out on your own there, Einstein? Every Trainer and their mother knows that Nuzleaf is a grass type. Whats your point?"

"Well, Vulpix here is a fire type. And grass is week to fire, so the advantage is mine." He said reasuring himself that his bluff was working.

Mary looked at him with an imprest look on her face. Mary Thornbull has been friends with Marcus since they were children. Here family runs an apple orcher on the outskirts of Holon next to Angly farm. though she has never admited it, she has always had feelings for Marcus even though she felt he did not share the same feelings. But her focus now was on the battle at hand.

"Yeah, well, thats going to stop me from pounding it and you into the ground infront of all these people. I'll remiind you of your place."

His bluff wasn't working at all.

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Uknown to the people were watching the battle and the two in it, another set of eyes watched closly. The figure darbed himself in a long hooded cape that concealed his identity. People moved past him, not even noticeing for a moment that he was there.

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"Go! Nuzleaf, use your Pound atttack, drick that little pup into the ground!"

The Pokemon darted off twards the angered Vulpix. Its eyes squinted and zeroed in on its target, as its handsclasped togeather. Marcus was paralyzed with fear. What should he do? he didn't know how to counter attacks, or even what attacks to use. He had no idea. Nuzleaf lept into the air bringing it's fist above it's head in preperation to hammer to the ground, it opponent. Mary step forward.

"Marcus! Tell it to move!" she yelled.

Marcus snaped out of his paralasis and focused on the matter at hand.

"Get out of there Vulpix!"

Moments before Nuzleaf landed, the fox Pokemon lept to the side, successfuly dodging the attack.

"Use Tackle, Vulpix" Marcus screemed.

Before the Nuzleaf could recover from its attack, Vulpix slamed forward with its head, striking a clean blow to right side of its opponent. The Nuzleaf fell off balance, but quickly recovered by cartwheeling onto it's stubby feet. Vulpix charged in again for another assault.

"Nuzleaf, Fakeout."

Before Vulpix could make contact, the grass type Pokemon disapeared. Vulpix landed, dumbfounded on its opponents wearabouts. Suddenly the Pokemon apeared behind it and slamed it's fists into either side of Vulpix's side. It yelp in pain as it fell to the ground. it strugled regain it's footing when the Master of the Nuzleaf spouted off another comand.

"Now finish it, Razorwind."

Marcus was shocked. Finish it! That's the last thing expected to hear from Thomus until the end of the fight. then it hit him like a tone of brcks, this was the end of the fight. The Nuzleaf took a stance in front of the injured Vulpix, preparing for its next attack.

"Get out of there Vulpix!"

But the flinching Pokemon didn't responed. Marcus Felt as if time was running out, and soon the fight would be over. Suddenly, he heard a calm voice speak to him.

"Tell Vulpix to use Flamethrower."

Marcus with out hesitation yelled out the comand. Vulpix steadied it self and opened it's snout, letting a blazing stream of fire that slamed into the Nuzleaf. The towns people gasped in aw as the flame went out. Sizzeling could beheard coming from the Nuzleaf, who was still standing, burt marks still hot from the attack. Thomus held his breath as his Pokemon fell to the ground, knocked out by the firery attack.

"Yes." Marcus said under his breath as he relized he won. The towns peopled cheared at the specticle that was a Pokemon battle. Mary ran up to Marcus jumping on him, sqweezing. The two looked at each other, then quickly seperated themselves out of embaressment. Marcus looked down to find his Vulpix lyingon the ground panting.

"Vulpix!"

He darted over and scooped up his Pokemon, holding it close. He turned to Mary...

"We go to get to the Pokemon Center, Now!"

The tw gather themselves and made way to the Center just up the road, running right past a hooded figure that caught Marcus' eye. He stoped to get a better look, but the figure was gone.

"Come on, we got to go!" Mary spat.
 
Spellcheck = godly.

There *has* to be better ways of describing that battle. Show, don't tell. Especially on physical discriptions. Don't give precise measurements. Mention stuff about perception. Elements are always a good way to get loose objects across, especially wind. Use your environment to make the battle more interesting. For example, are there trees anywhere? Houses? What's the battle surface? How can you use these elements to enhance the battle as a whole? Think about this as you write your next chapter.

Multiple viewpoints can be dificult to handle. If you're new at writing stories, it's probably best to stick to a single viewpoint throughout the story. In this example, it'll probably be Marcus's viewpoint. If you switch viewpoints too often or too abruptly, the story weakens significantly.

Work on these two ideas for your next chapters.
 
ok, no offense, it's a fan fic, I'm writing this mainly cause i'm board. secondly, use your imagination. if i really wanted to make this my master peice i wouldn't have it on here. and third, as to not be little the writer(and this is for future criticisums) try PM or e-mailing the writer instead of posting on their thread. Not trying to be mean or anything...

as for all the readers who were enjoying the story, I may or may not finish it now. so if you would like to find out what happens ar would like me to continue the story, please feel free to PM me.
 
Not saying it's bad. Just saying that there's room for improvement. I like the story thus far. Just feel that it can be improved in certain areas.
 
Back by popular demand.

Chapter 3

John was stowing away some rakes and plows in the barn heard distant laughter behind him. He turn to find his son and Mary walking towards him, with Vulpix gracefully prancing a few paces ahead of them. John was relieved to see that the Pokemon was in good health, but his questions were still unanswered, giving him an uneasiness in his stomach. Marcus took his gaze off Mary for a moment, finding his father standing in the middle of the back yard behind his familiar wooden home. The sun was bright and warm, the likes of which could be felt by Marcus and his companions, but a gentle zephyr blew across the rolling, semi treeless, landscape cooling off the trio has they approached John.

“Father, I’m back.”

“Well, what did Nurse Joy say? Was it a fun going into town? I know you hadn’t been there in a while.”

“Every thing was fine…” but Marcus was cut off by Mary’s excitement.

“It was better then fine, Marcus beat Thomus Landry in a Pokemon battle!” Mary proclaimed, patting Marcus’ back.

Marcus blushed a little, but then a slight pain jolted out from the area where Mary was Patting him. He wanted to scold her for hurting him, but he realized she was just excited for him. And besides, it to tarnish his image if started complaining about a couple of ruff pats on the back after a victory like earlier.

“Is that so…” John asked rhetorically as he stroked his chin.

The wind kicked up again, shifting his hair and cloths side to side, as he looked down at the prideful Vulpix standing next to Marcus, its tails waging slowly. His questions, along with flashbacks, flooded as he looked deep into the Pokemon’s dark brown eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that those Mightyena were trained or being trained. But where did this Vulpix come from, and why were those Mightyenea after it? He pushed those thoughts from his head to focus on the take at hand.

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?” He asked

“Get started with what?” Marcus asked in response, have no clue what his father was talking about.

“With your training…”

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“The first thing, you must remember, is to take proper care of your Pokemon. The better condition you keep in, the stronger it will become.” John said across the green yard behind the house. “Your Pokemon will only have as much confidence as it’s Trainer.”

Angela and Mary sat on the porch next to each other as John instructed Marcus on the ways of Pokemon training. Angela could recall the first time she saw her husband. He was on his adventure to the Hoenn Pokemon League, when he passed through Holon. A local Trainer had challenged him to a battle right in the middle of town as he was trying to get some food for his Pokemon. She could still hear John’s voice as he continued with Marcus, but her memories threw her into a daydream. Then she felt a tapping on her shoulder.

“Miss. Angly…” Mary started, “…do you think Marcus will leave Holon?”

She looked at Mary who was displaying concern. “He has his father’s blood running through his veins. I would be surprised if my little boy left to become a Trainer.” She said as she turned to watch her husband and son began their training.

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“Go, Machoke!” John said with a rise in tone. He threw out his Poke Ball over the swaying grass, as it popped open , revealing the ripped Superpower Pokemon. It spread its legs taking a stance to prepare for battle. After the battle with Thomus earlier, he was ready this time.

“Come on Vulpix, Let’s show him we’re not week! Tackle Attack!”

Vulpix charged the fighting type Pokemon with blazing speed, gaining inertia with each stride. Its jaws clinched together as it prepared itself for the impact with the defender. Marcus heard his father spout a command to his Pokemon, although he couldn’t understand it through the wind blowing past his ear. It bothered him, not knowing what his opponent was going to do. He watched as Vulpix leaped at Machoke with astonishing speed, but it was for not, as Machoke skillfully leapt over the fox Pokemon and slammed its fist into its back, pushing it into the soil beneath the grass, kicking up dust and dirt.

“With proper training, your Pokemon will learn to anticipate it’s opponent, thus being able to dodge attacks and successfully counter attack.” Marcus’ father yelled across the battle field.

Marcus watched as Vulpix struggled to its feet, panting caused by getting the wind knocked out by the superpower Pokemon’s counter. Marcus was embarrassed, he couldn’t understand why Vulpix’s attacks weren’t working. Then he remembered the voice he heard during his battle earlier.

“Vulpix, Flamethrower!” he yelled out to his Pokemon.

Vulpix inhaled a deep breath as Machoke raised his arms in front of itself. A vortex of flame shot out of Vulpix’s maw, enveloping the muscular Pokemon in searing hot fire. Marcus was sure that would take down his opponent. He could smell the trail of burnt grass leading up to the chard Pokemon, but to his surprise, Machoke was still standing. Marcus and Vulpix were shocked, when suddenly Machoke leapt into the air towards the recovering fire type.

“As your Pokemon gets stronger, it will be able to withstand strong attacks…” Marcus father said with a hint of a smile fading onto his face,”… and even be able to launch its attacks without it’s masters command.”

Machoke landed directly in front of Vulpix, snatching it up by it’s fully tails, then leaped into the air. Marcus gasped as he watch the two Pokemon sore through the wind.

“Now witness Machoke’s Seismic Toss!”

Marcus watched as Machoke lifted Vulpix above it’s head. The two seemed to slow to a stop in the air, but before they begun their decent, Machoke lanched Vupix to the ground beneath. Marcus looked on as Vulpix slammed into the ground. Dust, rocks and grass were launched into the air as a result.

“It’s over.” John said as Marcus ran over to his injured Pokemon.

Marcus scooped it up in his arms as Mary came running up to inspect the Vulpix. Machoke landed next to John with a grunt. John stroked it’s head as they made their way to the trio. Marcus was ashamed that Vulpix lost so badly. He felt it was his fault and would never forgive himself if Vulpix wasn’t alright.

“With a little t.l.c. it should be as good as new. Now come on , lets get inside and fix her up.”
 
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