sorry but i think luxray is a tech (and an average one at that), not the basis for a deck. it can't withstand getting hit by the ubitquious claydols, let alone gallade, armaldo, etc. fighting weakness has got to be the single worst kind of weakness to have. meanwhile any number of stage 1 decks will outspeed it T2.
The DP Luxray is a tech (by association with the line here, and elsewhere-- if anyone used it--soon to be replaced by the infinitely superior and reusable Lumineon), but the LA one has a lot of potential IMO. Let me explain.
First of all, Claydol is virtually never used as an attacker, and the +30 weakness only means Gallade OHKOs it with one less prize flip which really isn't that big of a deal... since it is a OHKO machine regardless of weakness. I can't speak for Armaldo because I really don't think it is going to pop up much if at all (has a fossil basic, hurt by grass which should be one of the most popular types, etc.), and besides that, the whole "weakness as downfall" is a bad argument when it's only +30, especially since only one of the cards you listed is ever really going to be seen as an attacker.
Speaking of weakness, one of Luxray's big strengths (ah, see how I juxtaposed terms like that?) is how it has the ability to OHKO both Empoleon and Kingdra without any help from PlusPower/Buck's, and both of those Pokemon are going to be FAR more ubiquitous than Gallade or anything else of the fighting type next format. I think it is safe to make that prediction. On the issue of speed-- this current build isn't designed for a turn 2 Shock Bolt followed by immediate recharge, but it can be. With Shinx's Charge plus two energy drops (1 turn 1, 1 turn 2), you've got just as great a chance as having that ready to go turn 2 as Kingdra or a lot of stage 1 decks have of getting their stuff out. All you need is a Shinx opening, 2 energy in hand, Rare Candy and Luxray or a means to get it. With Energy Pickup as well as a recharger/buffer like Rotom (MD), you can do 100 with consistency, such as every other turn, swapping Luxray for it and building it back up while keeping it protected at the same time. Empoleon snipe? Whatever, it gets OHKOed the next turn regardless and follow-up Empoleons don't have the Scramble comeback option anymore. Plasma also helps with the recharging and can finish off stuff you Shock Bolted but weren't able to KO, or to set something up for a later Shock Bolt. The ability to Plasma turn 2 with a Bucks/PlusPower and KO a lot of starters, from Piplup to Horsea to Chatot to Baltoy to Chimchar, is also not the hallmark of a "slow" card. If you do that, without the threat of being Scrambled next turn and KOed in return, your opponent is looking at a big Shock Bolt/likely KO from you on your next turn as well, which means they'll be two prizes behind in a matter of a few turns. That is a way to gain board control quick and it is again not the hallmark of a slow card.
As for suggestions aimed at improving this list, I would basically drop the Togekiss and the Rayquaza as well as the fire energy, obviously, and add some Rotom (MD). I'd also make sure the Shinx were LA, for that amazing Charge ability. I'd get some Call energy in here both as insurance and so that you can have an energy attached to Luxray that won't get discarded when you Shock Bolt. That is one way that you can do a second Shock Bolt immediately with a successful Energy Pickup flip. Speaking of that card, I'd add 4 here. I'd also add 4 Felicity's Drawing, as raw draw and because the discard it requires combos with both Rotom (MD) and Energy Pickup. When Cyclone energy comes back with IFDS, I'd add some of those in as well to give you more energy that won't be discarded by Shock Bolt and also because the disruptive effect can be really great if you time it right, at any point in the game.
The way I see it, this is a deck that should try to get a turn 2 Luxray either doing 100 or getting a KO with Plasma/damage enhancers followed by as many Shock Bolts as you can, utilizing the switch-and-recharge allowed by Luxray's free retreat and Rotom's Dual Trans.