LegacyEeveeVGC
Active Member
I am rewriting my Fanfic since I have gotten better at this stuff.
Plz review it and tell me what i could do to improve.
This is how it will start and fade into the story that happened before that point.
"I thought I could see it it looks like our world with a path leading to it from a temple.
I saw our houses and school, but something was wrong the skies where dark and people where staring up at the sky like the world was coming to a end.", I said as I come out of the vision.
"What do you mean like the world was ending?", Richy said as he jumped up from his seat.
"I mean there was fear in there eyes as if there life's where coming to a end and they could do nothing about it. We have to get back some way and to get back and stop it!", and tears runed down my eyes as i jumped from my seat. "This might be why we ended up here so we would live and not die in the event! Even if we could get back there is no way we could do anything and even if we could we have no way back.", Replied Richy. "There is a legend of two Pokemon of legend. One could warp and create time itself anf the other could bend and create space itself." Said the old temple keeper. "Then what could we do to find those Pokemon? How can we use there powers? If there is anything you can do to help us please do!, I yelled as I flopped down into my seat. "Hmm well I do know of some info that could help but you must wait here till I come back", he said as he walked away. "Wait where are you going?" Richy asked. "I am going deeper into the temple to find a scroll that has some information that could help, but until then stay here.", By the time he had finished we saw nothing but heard his words. "You know all i can think about is how we first got here and what has happened since then.", I said as i opened my Pokedex. "All the pokemon we have seen and caught and we have gotten so far", I said as I scanned threw all the Pokemon. "It seems like just yesterday me and you where dragged into this world by you game",said Richy as he shut his eyes.
Plz review it and tell me what i could do to improve.
This is how it will start and fade into the story that happened before that point.
"I thought I could see it it looks like our world with a path leading to it from a temple.
I saw our houses and school, but something was wrong the skies where dark and people where staring up at the sky like the world was coming to a end.", I said as I come out of the vision.
"What do you mean like the world was ending?", Richy said as he jumped up from his seat.
"I mean there was fear in there eyes as if there life's where coming to a end and they could do nothing about it. We have to get back some way and to get back and stop it!", and tears runed down my eyes as i jumped from my seat. "This might be why we ended up here so we would live and not die in the event! Even if we could get back there is no way we could do anything and even if we could we have no way back.", Replied Richy. "There is a legend of two Pokemon of legend. One could warp and create time itself anf the other could bend and create space itself." Said the old temple keeper. "Then what could we do to find those Pokemon? How can we use there powers? If there is anything you can do to help us please do!, I yelled as I flopped down into my seat. "Hmm well I do know of some info that could help but you must wait here till I come back", he said as he walked away. "Wait where are you going?" Richy asked. "I am going deeper into the temple to find a scroll that has some information that could help, but until then stay here.", By the time he had finished we saw nothing but heard his words. "You know all i can think about is how we first got here and what has happened since then.", I said as i opened my Pokedex. "All the pokemon we have seen and caught and we have gotten so far", I said as I scanned threw all the Pokemon. "It seems like just yesterday me and you where dragged into this world by you game",said Richy as he shut his eyes.
