Tamer of Legends

Discussion in 'Pokemon Fan Fiction' started by CyberManectric, May 20, 2010.

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  1. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    I decided to try writing a new fan fic while waiting for Pokemon Black and White Versions to come out. Somewhat inspired by HGSS but doesn't follow the main story of those games.

    Table of contents
    Ch. 1: Destruction and Rebirth (This post)
    Ch. 2: "Welcome to Goldenrod"
    Ch. 3: Face off! VS Whitney
    Ch. 4: The Life Ahead
    Ch. 5: Danger! Scyther's Den
    Ch. 6: Enemy of Ho-oh! The Rainbow Theif
    Ch. 7: The Staring Pokemon
    Ch. 8: Fierce Fighting in Violet City
    Ch. 9: Two vs. Two
    Ch. 10: Enemy in Black, Dark sero
    Ch. 11: The Great Teachers of Tin Tower
    Ch. 12: The Clear Bell's Message
    Ch. 13: Backtrack to Goldenrod
    Ch. 14: Eevee raves for Battle
    Ch. 15: A Dangerous Gift
    Ch. 16: Pokemon Party Crashers
    Ch. 17: The Door to the Past
    Ch. 18: Greed and Pureness
    Ch. 19: Allister's Pride
    Ch. 20: Suicune's Roar of Anger
    Ch. 21: Desperation
    Coming Soon:
    Ch. 22: The Sacred Ash

    Chapter 1: Destruction and Rebirth

    The Sinjoh Temple, uniting the people from both the Sinnoh and Johto regions. The ruins were perched high on a mountain, the elevation over 2500 feet above sea level. Anyone who inhabited the ruins saw no other weather besides the snow. The temple was huge with the walls covered with Unown but the ceiling dark purple with ancient drawings of Dialga, Palkia, Giratina and Arceus. The temple was rather small as well. In the center of the temple’s ground was the Mystri Stage. Three symbols laid on the Mystri Stage. Many of the monks guarding the temple knew they were meant for Acreus, but no one said they were just meant only for Arceus.

    Our story begins one fateful night. Panic was spread throughout the temple and the few cabins near it. The temple had caught on fire! All of the inhabitants had evacuated. Two Noctowls had been released from their pokeballs and were using Defog to blow snow onto the flames. Sadly, the Noctowls’ attempt to stop the fire was useless. The monks and their fellow Sinjoh Temple inhabitants watched at the flames engulfed the temple.

    “Somebody please help me,” yelled a man. This man was a visitor of the Sinjoh Temple. He was a man in his mid 30’s, tall and had long wavy red hair that covered his eyes and nose, but he had brushed it to one side to only cover his left eye. This man also wore two earrings baring gems. One had a ruby sphere and the other had a topaz sphere. Then on his left hand he wore a ring with an aquamarine gem on it. He also wore a robe similar to the monks who were guarding the Sinjoh Temple. It had become damp from the melting snow he was making his way through.

    “What is it? Are you the last one out of the Temple,” asked one of the monks. The red headed visitor shook his head.

    “I request your assistance. Three of my Pokémon were resting outside of their pokeballs and now they’re somewhere in that temple caught in the blaze,” said the red headed visitor with a sense of panic. He then got down to his knees. “I beg of you, please find a way to save my companions.”

    “Follow me. Everyone else stay away from the blaze. Noctowls, please keep trying.” The monk then signaled the visitor to get up off his knees and follow him. They wandered into the Sinjoh Temple and felt the intense heat. The flames lit up the white walls with the Unown carvings bright orange. In the flames near and around the Mystri Stage were three corpses of Pokémon. It looked like it was too late.

    “Showers, Thunders, Booster, NO,” the red headed visitor cried out. Then the Monk walked over to a one area of the Temple that wasn’t caught on fire yet. There was only one hope to save the Pokémon caught in the blaze.

    Meanwhile, outside the temple a couple held hands and watched the blaze. The young man was a Ruin Maniac and had brought his wife to the Sinjoh Temple to take in the mystery and visit a quiet place to relax. His wife wanted to relax because she was pregnant and they were expecting their child soon. However, on this fateful night she felt intense pain within her. She yelled out and squeezed her husband’s hand.

    “Yukio, it’s time,” she said. She looked at Yukio’s slender oval shaped face with brown hair cut short and brown eyes that became filled with a sense of dread. He was wearing plain red fuzzy pajamas that were keeping him warm in the freezing climate but underneath he was sweating from the fire’s awesome heat. He looked back at his pregnant wife who had long blonde hair that fell to her shoulders, and wore a night gown that made her belly seem bigger then it actually was.

    “No, no, no, no, no. Serenity not now. Any other night except tonight will be a great day to welcome our child into the world, but not tonight,” he said while trying to keep the panic out of his voice. Serenity groaned and then squeezed Yukio’s hand even harder. She then looked him in the eyes.

    “Yukio, I need to lie down right now. I can feel our child. It’s now time! I can’t wait any longer,” she whispered. Then Yukio nodded and quickly spoke to one of the other monks. The monk then approached Serenity, who was now officially in labor.

    “We have no choice. The cabins are too far we have to deliver the baby inside the temple,” said the monk. He then signaled for his Noctowl to stop using Defog and fly over to him. “Noctowl, use Confusion to help this woman into the temple.” Noctowl’s eyes glowed light blue and then Serenity was lifted into the air and slowly carried into the Temple with Noctowl’s telekinetic powers. Yukio held Serenity’s hand and felt her squeezing him with intense strength.

    “Yukio…” she whispered. Apparently all she could do was whisper. “I’m scared. I don’t think I can do this. Not in the inferno.” She began breathing hard and once again squeezed Yukio’s hand really hard. Yukio wanted to place his hand in the snow and relieve some of his own pain.

    “It’s going to be ok honey,” Yukio said as he rubbed her stomach with his other hand. They entered the blazing temple and saw the red headed visitor and another Monk. The monk held in his hands the Clear Bell and in it he had inserted a Rainbow Wing.

    “What now,” asked the monk holding the sacred items.

    “This woman is about to give birth,” explained the monk guiding Yukio and Serenity. Noctowl was still using Confusion to levitate Serenity. Then Yukio threw a pokeball and then an Ariados appeared.

    “Ariados, use String Shot to make a hammock for Serenity,” instructed Yukio. Ariados spit out three threads of white gooey string from its mouth from one pillar to another. Then it spat out three more, and then another set of three threads. Soon Ariados had made a makeshift bed to hold Serenity. The blaze suddenly grew more intense and everyone in the temple began sweating.

    “Oh, I can’t bare this any longer,” screamed Serenity. The monk who came in with her rubbed her head. Yukio grabbed her hand and asked her to relax. Then the monk who held the Clear Bell and Rainbow Wing held them close to his heard and began preying.

    “Oh legendary Pokémon of the Bell Tower, Ho-oh. I beseech you, save these three Pokémon and this couple with their child about to come into this world. Spare us from this terrible fate. Give us all a second chance at life,” preyed the monk holding the clear bell. Suddenly both the bell and the Rainbow Wind began glowing. People outside the temple began clamoring.

    “What is that,” asked a woman’s voice from outside.

    “Look, a giant bird,” exclaimed a man’s voice from outside. Suddenly the Rainbow Wing glowed even brighter. The three corpses in the blaze also began glowing. The red headed visitor watched in awe and dropped his jaw as the corpses got back up on all fours and few bigger, changing into new forms.

    Yes! History has repeated itself! I’ve done it, the red headed stranger thought to himself. Yukio stopped paying attention to his wife and looked over to the amazing feat before him. Soon in the blaze he could see three huge beasts. The flames hid what they really looked like but Yukio knew he’d never seen these three Pokémon before. He then focused his attention back to Serenity who began screaming at the top of her lungs. Suddenly the Unown on the walls of the temple started glowing. The Unown peeled off the walls and came to life.

    “This is amazing,” The red haired man said in astonishment. The monk who was holding the glowing Clear Bell and Rainbow wing also watched in awe. The Unown then swirled around the Mystri Stage and then three groups of Unown circled the three corpses that stood up and were coming back to life. The bodies began to differentiate between one another. The one on the far left grew a thunder cloud on its back and sprouted long fangs on its mouth. The one in the middle grew a diamond shaped crystal on its head. The one on the far right seemed to grow a mask on its face. The red haired man was amazed.

    Yukio kept switching his attention from his wife to the amazing rebirth of the Pokémon. Then finally, his own child was born. Yukio held his newborn child who was crying very loudly. Serenity was finally relaxed in the makeshift hammock and the monk brought a bucket of water that was used to help clean off the baby. Meanwhile the Unown stopped swirling around the three resurrected Pokémon and returned to their positions on the walls. The red headed man walked up to the Mystri Stage but the three Pokémon remained hidden in the intense flames that kept the temple ablaze.

    “At long last I finally get to meet you. Raikou, Entei, Suicune. Finally the time has come,” said the red haired man as he knelt down before the Mystri Stage. Then the monk who had preyed to Ho-oh looked up and notices that the carving of Arceus on the ceiling was also glowing. It seemed that Ho-oh was not the only one at work.

    “Sir, get away from those Pokémon,” warned the monk. The red haired man then held out three Pokeballs. He stared down the legendary beasts before him that stood in the blaze, seemingly unaffected by the intense heat. The gems on his earrings and ring glowed with the heat from the flames.

    “Why should I? I intended on this to happen and now my dream is about to come true. I’m am about to capture and tame the legendary beasts. Now return to your master,” shouted the red hair man as he threw the three pokeballs. Then Entei surrounded itself in flames and then charged straight at the three Pokeballs. It destroyed all three pokeballs, but didn’t stop there. It kept charging and hit the red haired man. He was taken and carried away by Entei. The two monks, Yukio, and Serenity were shocked at what they had just witnessed.

    “Flare Blitz, but I thought Entei couldn’t learn that,” said Yukio. His attention from watching Entei take on the red headed man was broken when he heard his newborn crying. The flames also grew more intense.

    “We must escape,” said the monk who assisted with the birth. The other monk was about to put away the Clear Bell and Rainbow Wing when all of a sudden they glowed again. The monk gasped as he was overtaken by the sacred items’ power. Then Raikou leapt down from the Mystri stage and Yukio and Serenity saw something truly stunning. Raikou was colored
    orange with a gold cloud on its back. Raikou then approached Serenity who held her newborn in her arms and then barked gently at her.

    “Raikou, you wish to help my family escape,” Yukio asked. Raikou then looked at Yukio and nodded. The Clear Bell and Rainbow Wing stopped glowing and the other monk returned to his senses. He then ran over to Yukio and Serenity who were climbing onboard Raikou.

    “I don’t know about this,” Said Serenity. It was clear that she was still traumatized. Yukio held their crying newborn child and then the monk who had been holding the Clear Bell also climbed about and helped Serenity stay onboard. Yukio also used a towel to wrap up his baby and protect it from the cold.

    Then once all three adults were secure Raikou dashed out of the temple. Yukio did his best to make sure his newborn child never left his arms as they bounced up and down on Raikou’s back. Raikou descended the mountain and seemed to be taking them to a town somewhere either in the Kanto or Johto region. Raikou ran so fast and was so stealthy on the treacherous mountain trail that Yukio lost his sense of direction. The snow levels decreased and the air outside began to feel warmer and warmer.

    Back at the Sinjoh Temple, Suicune summoned three rings of water and they circulated around the temple. It used Aqua Ring to extinguish the blaze and within a minute the temple was safe once again. The remaining monk look up at the Mystri stage and saw the Suicune with a sky blue crystal on its head and light blue mane flowing from it. Then Suicune also dashed out of the temple and fled somewhere in the region below. The monk then looked out into the wilderness and quietly thanked the three legendary beasts under his breath.

    Raikou took its riders to the Indigo Plateau and ran on top of the buildings rooftops. It then stopped at a hospital where Yukio, Serenity, and their newborn could rest. Once they and the monk who accompanied them dismounted Raikou it barked in a friendly manner then looked at their newborn child who had stopped crying midway through their journey. Then it turned around and ran off into the wilderness. The monk then approached Yukio and Serenity before they went into the hospital.

    “There is something you must know. When I held the Clear Bell inside the temple and after your child was born I felt Ho-oh’s presence. It has given me a message I must pass onto you,” said the monk. Then Yukio passed his child to his wife and then looked at the monk.

    “What is that message,” he asked and then the monk sighed.

    “Ho-oh said ‘through this child I will determine if humans are worthy of taming legendary Pokémon.’ ” The monk then bowed to Yukio and watched as he and his wife entered the hospital. Yukio then looked at his newborn, who was still srapped in the towel and was now quiet. It seemed as if the birth had happened at the Sinjoh Temple for a very special reason.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2011
  2. CheeseEX

    CheeseEX New Member

    finaly something 2 read and a good 1 at that maybe it will get me felling creative agin

    interesting plot so far shiny legendary dogs :eek::lol:

    cant wait for more :thumb:
  3. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    Chapter 2: “Welcome to Goldenrod”​

    The Magnet Train thundered down its tracks and out of the underground portion of its route that left Saffron City and the Kanto Region behind. The sun shined down on the trees below the elevated tracks of the magnet train. It was traveling at 80MPH but for one trainer the Magnet Train didn’t travel fast enough. An intercom beeped and then the Conductor’s voice could be heard. “Ladies, Gentlemen, and trainers please remained seated. We hope to arrive in Goldenrod City within 5 minutes.”

    A mother and child took their seat with the 11 year old child taking the window seat. The mother was Serenity, and it had been 11 years and several months since the incident at the Sinjoh Temple. Her son was named Katsuro. Katsuro looked at his reflection in the window and saw his brown hair was getting too long. Another week without cutting it and it might cover his deep blue eyes. Katsuro had a slim build, mostly because of his active life he had while living in the Sevii Islands. His skin was also tanned because he spent so much time out in the sun, but under neath his t-shirt and navy blue shorts his skin was white.

    “Why do we have to move to the Johto Region mom,” Katsuro asked as he stopped looking out the window and leaned back into his seat. Serenity then looked down at her son who was blowing his bangs away from his eyes. It was obvious that he missed his life they left behind at Quest Island.

    “I told you, your new step dad bought us a nice house in Goldenrod City. Plus unlike the Sevii Islands there are some neat things for an upcoming trainer to do in the whole Johto region. You can challenge the Gym Leaders, participate at the Pokeathlon Dome, or be more like your father and explore the Ruins of Alph,” said Serenity in an upbeat mood.

    “If you want me to be more like my father then you could have left me with him when you divorced him,” said Katsuro in a depressed mood. Serenity then sighed and placed her hand on his shoulder.

    “You’re going to have lots of fun in the Johto Region. Trust me,” she said. Then she reached over and opened the window. “Why not just take in the culture and sights and take a look around. Look, that’s Azeal Town over there!” Serenity pointed to her left and Katsuro looked down at the tiny town with a huge well and pink dots all over the city. Katsuro wondered what Pokémon they were. Then he reached into the pocket of the shorts we was wearing and looked at his two Pokémon.

    The Pokeballs Serenity had bought him were developed by a company in the Isshu region and imported to Boon Island. Serenity did most of her shopping on that Island. These Pokeballs had a transparent red casing allowing the trainer to look at his Pokémon inside the round capsules. Katsuro had a Sneasel and Larvitar on him. Both Pokémon were given to him by his father Yukio. Both of his Pokémon were asleep inside there pokeball and were waiting for when they get to come out and play.

    Katsuro then placed the pokeballs back in his pocket and looked out the window. The train was passing the Ilex Forest now and was making the final leg of its journey to Goldenrod City. Katsuro then saw something peculiar in the forest. A huge Pokémon was running and it was sparkling with each graceful step it took. “Mom, what’s that,” Katsuro asked as he pointed out the window.

    Serenity looked down and gasped when she recognized the gold cloud on the back of an orange tiger looking Pokémon. “Through this child I will determine if humans are worthy of taming legendary Pokémon.” Serenity was reminded of the frightening night when Katsuro was born. She then reached over and shut the window making Katsuro stare at his reflection again.

    “It’s nothing. We probably shouldn’t worry about it,” she said and then laid back in her seat. Katsuro then looked at his mom with a disgusted look on his face. He wondered what got her so worked up. The Magnet Train then seemed to slow down and Katsuro fastened his seat belt. After another minute the Magnet Train came to a full stop.

    “Ladies, Gentlemen, and trainers we’ve arrived at our destination. Goldenrod city with an accent mark over the ‘o.’ We thank you for riding with us and encourage you all to enjoy your stay,” said the conductor through the intercoms. Serenity and Katsuro grabbed their carry on luggage and left. As the walked out of the magnet train and into the train station Katsuro couldn’t help but think of the golden Pokémon he saw on the way here.

    Katsuro was culture shocked when he entered the lobby of the train station. All his life he had lived in the quiet towns and villages of the Sevii Islands. None of his home towns were as modern as this station. It was sunset at Goldenrod City. Neon lights and huge signs advertising businesses were lighting up and showing what the city had to offer. It was nothing Katsuro had ever seen before except on TV, but his mother seemed to be enjoying it. Once they had stepped outside the station they were greeted by a tall man wearing a straw hat and a pair of sunglasses.

    “Serenity, good to see you,” said the man as he opened up his arms. Serenity ran up to him and hugged him immediately. Katsuro looked away and decided to stare at the nearby Radio Tower instead. After hugging for a moment Serenity the kissed the tall man and removed his sunglasses.

    “Well hello there Nicholas. It’s so good to see you and I’m so happy to be back in Johto. Thank you for inviting us to live with you,” said Serenity. She then let go of her embrace and then placed a hand on Katsuro’s shoulder. “You should recognize my son by the pictures I’ve sent you. This is Katsuro, and he already has two Pokémon with him.”

    Katsuro didn’t show any interest in his new step father. He turned around, keeping one and in his pocket and holding one of his pokeballs. “How ya doing,” said Katsuro unenthusiastically. Nicholas then bent his knees so he could talk to Katsuro at eye level. He smiled and showed slightly yellow teeth.

    “Come on Katsuro don’t be like this. Let’s try a proper introduction. Hi, I’m Nicholas but you can call me ‘Nick’ if you want,” said Nick as he offered a hand shake. Katsuro took his left hand out of his pocket and shook Nick’s hand vigorously. “That’s more like it. Welcome to Goldenrod Katsuro, and it wouldn’t be a proper welcome without a house warming gift. Here.” Nick presented a box and Katsuro took it and opened it from the side.

    “Cool! A Pokegear,” exclaimed Katsuro as he held the device in his hand.

    “And it has your favorite person to chat is already saved in there as the #1 contact,” said Nick. Katsuro saw the the Pokegear was on standby. He turned it on and pressed the phone icon. He had the pokegear dial the only contact saved on the list. Serenity then reached into her purse and pulled out her pokegear and answered it.

    “Hiya son! Enjoying your stay so far,” asked Serenity and then giggled. Katsuro had that disgusted look on his face again and hung up immediately.

    “Ha ha, thanks I guess,” said Katsuro nervously. His new step father then patted him on the shoulder.

    “Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to delete it later,” he said as he began to walk his new family to his house.

    “Wait, can we check out this huge tower behind us? I want to go up to the observation deck at the top,” said Katsuro as he pointed at the Radio Tower. Nick looked at Serenity who nodded at him.

    "Katsuro has a thing for heights. Apparently he inherited his biological father's adventurous spirit," explained his mother. Then the two of them turned around and Serenity grabbed Katsuro’s hand as they proceeded to the Radio Tower’s entrance.

    “Trust me, you’ll love the view from the observation deck,” said Nick as they entered the tower. The lobby of the radio tower was just as crowded as the Magnet Train Station. People were moving left and right, groups of teenage girls were listening to one Pokegear’s radio, and then there was a crowd of Pokemon Trainers trying to win free radio cards at the front desk. Katusro was trying to take this all in but it was so crowded and noisy he didn’t want to move. His mother had to pull him all the way to the elevator.

    The three of them got inside and joined two other Pokémon Trainers. One looked like a Camper class trainer while the other was a School Boy. The elevator rose up one floor and then stopped. One Campter got out and ran over to a girl who was sitting in front of a microphone. “Buena, Buena I know your password,” He shouted as he left the elevator. The school boy hit the button that closed the doors and then the elevator rose all the way up to the observation deck. The elevator dinged and opened its doors to let everyone out.

    Katsuro immediately ran to a pair of binoculars and gazed at the view. The binoculars he was looking through faced North, so he saw a park with tall grass and a fountain in the middle making the formation look like a pokeball. Nick and Serenity stood near the window and watched Katsuro marvel at the view. He then turned the binoculars slightly to the right and then saw a dome with two searchlights waving back and forth in front of it.

    “That must be the Pokeathlon Dome you were telling me about mom,” Katsuro said as he kept his eyes glued to the binoculars.

    “Yeah, it’s pretty cool place. I’ll take you there tomorrow if you want,” said Nick. Then Katsuro moved away from the binoculars and then reached into his pocket. Then he threw the two Pokeballs he had.

    “Larvitar and Sneasel, you gotta check this out,” shouted Katsuro. The two pokeballs bounced off the ground and then opened up in midair. They released streams of light that formed into the two Pokémon Katsuro had called out.


    The two Pokémon stretched out and then gazed at the view before them. Then Serenity approached them from behind. “Welcome to your new home Larvitar and Sneasel,” she said and the two Pokemon walked up to Katsuro and looked curiously at the binoculars he was gazing through. Then he stepped back and held out his arms.

    “Here Sneasel you first,” he said. Then Sneasel jumped into its trainers arms. Katsuro held Sneasel up close to the binoculars and it saw National Park. There were Pokémon jumping around in the tall grass, but they were so small it was hard to make out who they were. Katsuro smiled as Sneasel enjoyed the view. Then he felt something tugging on his shorts.

    “Lar. Larvitar,” cried out his other Pokémon. Katsuro then set Sneasel down and then tried to pick up Larvitar, but he forgot how heavy a larvitar could be. Katsuro struggled but it was no use. For him it felt like trying to pick up a sack of bricks.

    “Ha ha, sorry Larvitar, you’re too heavy for me to pick up,” he said as he let go of his Pokémon. Larvitar then frowned and Sneasel pointed its left claw at it and teased it. Then Larvitar got angry and bit Sneasel’s claw. “Hey, knock it off you two,” Katsuro shouted at his two Pokémon.

    “Katsuro, if your Pokémon are going to fight then you have to keep at least one of them in their pokeball,” warned his step father. Katsuro brought out one Pokeball.

    “OK Sneasel, return,” commanded Katsuro. Then the red retractor beam shot out from the pokeball and Sneasel was transported inside the pokeball. Katsuro looked through the transparent red pokeball and saw Sneasel pout inside the device. He pressed the button on the pokeball to make it shrink and then placed it in his pocket. Meanwhile, Larvitar marveled at the view of Goldenrod City.

    “Katsuro,” his mother called out to him. She pointed at the time displayed on her Pokegear’s screen. “It’s getting a bit late honey. We should have dinner and then we need to unpack.” Larvitar ran over and began trailing Katsuro from behind as he followed his mother and step father into the elevator. They descended all the way down to the second floor where two Ace Trainers were waiting.

    “Can we at least look around on the second floor,” ask Katsuro.

    “OK, but for a few minutes,” said Serenity. They left and then the Ace Trainer couple entered the elevator. Katsuro saw several recording rooms with DJ’s and music performers in them. One room was broadcasting live within the radio tower itself. Katuro walked closer to the room with a “LIVE” sign lit up and he heard the music broadcasting loud and clear.

    “Once I catch Abra, it’s a big no duh, what will I do? I’ll Teleport!” Katsuro’s Larvitar was dancing to the song. The song that was just playing apparently ended and Katsuro saw the DJ bring the microphone close to his mouth and he began speaking into it.

    “That was Lady BlahBlah with her latest, ‘Teleport.’ Stick around, I’m your host Brian Oceancrest bringing you PokeNation’s Top 30 countdown right after this,” announced the DJ. Then he hit a button and radio commercials came on. Katsuro look down and saw Larvitar scattering around as if trying to dance with the radio commercials. Nick and Serenity just watched people walk by and check out the radio tower’s shows.

    “Come on Larvitar let’s go,” said Katsuro. He began to run toward his parents when without warning he bumped into someone. “Ow!” Katsuro was knocked down to his butt and had to catch himself with his hands and arms behind him.

    “Oh my goodness, are you alright little boy,” asked a female trainer. Katsuro looked up and saw this female trainer had pink hair and eyes. Her shirt was white with pink at the end of the sleeves and where the buttons on her shirt were. She also wore blue shorts. A Clefairy stood behind her, presumably hers. She held out a hand to help Katsuro back to his feet.

    “Yeah, I guess I’m ok,” he said as he took her hand and stood back up. He didn’t know it but he was now face to face with Goldenrod’s Gym Leader, Whitney.

    “Good, then next time watch where you’re going,” Whitney said with a bossy atmosphere around her.

    “Hey, excuse me. It was an accident,” Katsuro angrily retorted.
    “Lar-Larvitar,” shouted his Larvitar who held out a curled hand to show that it wanted to battle.

    “Hm. Well then I guess we can settle this with a battle if you want,” Whitney said as she started to calm down.

    “Oh, you’re on little miss pink.”

    “Hold it Katsuro,” his step father shouted and then he greeted Whitney with a thumbs up. “Don’t you know you’re challenging Goldenrod’s Gym Leader here?”

    “A Gym Leader? Well then I guess I’m about to have my first Gym Battle,” said Katsuro and then he gulped. Since he lived in the Sevii Islands for as long as he could remember he never had participated or witnessed any kind of intense battle. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure about making a challenge.

    “Relax little boy. Just come by my gym tomorrow morning and I’ll accept your challenge. It’s a good way for a trainer to prove to their Pokémon and himself at how good they are at raising Pokémon," explained Whitney. Katsuro looked over to her Clefairy who was nodding in agreement with its trainer.

    “Fairy, fairy,” said Clefairy as it nodded.

    “So do you accept,” asked Whitney. Katsuro closed his fist, looked Whitney in the eye, and nodded.
    Last edited: May 21, 2010
  4. Lucario EX

    Lucario EX Moderator<br>Fanfic Contest Host

    Would Katsuro really know the exact weight of Larvitar right then? If he wouldn't, take that part out. For the most part, you shouldn't describe things that the character wouldn't notice, and shouldn't explain things that they wouldn't understand, unless you do so by having another character tell them, or it being written on a sign, etc.
    If he did, it would make sense for him to also know the weight of his specific Larvitar, right? They can't all weigh exactly 158 pounds.

    Small children don't normally think of their parents by their first names. You should consider only referring to a character as whatever the character you're using the point of view of would call them. (Yeah, I know I need to go back and fix this in some parts of my fics)

    Nice work.
  5. bullados

    bullados <a href="http://pokegym.net/forums/showthread.php?

    Not bad, but the language could be more precise. At times, it's difficult to tell which character is doing what. Especially in that first chapter. It took me three or four read throughs to understand that the RM wasn't the RHD in the first chapter (lmk if you don't understand the acronyms). Also, Katsu's acceptance of Nick is a little bit too quick. Have they seen each other before? What was their past relationship? It seems like this is their first time meeting, which is strange seeing as Nick's married to Katsu's mother. It would take more than just a cool gift for an 11yo to accept a new father figure into his life.

    The characters seem, idk, a little bland to me. Especially compared to your other series. There aren't any distinguishing features of each character. Think about each character's motivation before writing their dialogue. Because this is text-based and not visual, you have to somehow balance their actions with their words. Each character has a unique POV, and that POV should show through their dialogue as much as their actions. The easiest way that I've found to write is to first create the characters, then create the situations around the characters, and then just let the characters react to the situations. You might write yourself into a corner that way, but strong characters can carry a weak story much better than weak characters can carry a strong story. Focus on your characters as individual, free-thinking human beings. Learn their motivations, their likes, their dislikes. Fully flesh out your characters before you put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) on the story, and you'll find the results are a lot more enjoyable.

    GL with this! It's a stark departure in style from your AR series, but it should strengthen your writing significantly by using a different style!
  6. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    Bullados, 1) yeah I didin't understand your acronyms. 2) it's just the first half hour of Katsuro interacting with his new step father. Katsuro will be showing how he really feels about him next chapter. 3) I officially dub you the Simon Cowell of Fan fics, no offense intended.

    I plan on making Katsuro stick out a bit more personality wise as I progress in the next couple chapters. I guess I'm still stuck in my AR style somewhat. Character developement is something I'm trying to get better at, which is one reason why I started this new series before continuing the AR series.
  7. gallade

    gallade New Member

    I like this. a lot...........
  8. ashinto

    ashinto New Member

    This is a good one, I like it.
  9. bullados

    bullados <a href="http://pokegym.net/forums/showthread.php?

    RM = Ruin Maniac
    RHD = Red Headed Dude

    None taken. I'm very demanding of the literature I read. Probably the reason why I very rarely read fan fics in general. Most suck. Some (like this one) have potential. Almost none are good right off the bat.

    You're not bad at character development. Each character in AR had their own unique voice and vantage point, and their dialogue reflected that. I don't see so much of that in this thus far. One of the reasons I have such a tough time creating new characters is because I'm so demanding of myself in the creation phase. Every character must be unique in some way, and nobody that I focus on can be a throwaway character. Even the characters I'm not going to focus on have their own personalities, and I try to let that show as much as possible (even though I probably fail far more than I succeed).

    That being said, I'm just kinda wondering this. Where did you get your inspiration for this version of Whitney? There are three versions that I've seen, and none of them match up very well with what you've put down. In the VG, she's a girly girl, quick to tears and praying on her feminine wiles. In the anime, she's a ditz but a powerful trainer. In the manga, she's an arrogant tomboy actress but doesn't have much skill in battle (being one of two Gym leaders Suicune doesn't challenge). Are you trying to create your own version of Whitney?
  10. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    With the whole creating new character, like Katsuro, i first create the main plot and then decide what kind of character and his/her traits that would work best with the stroy. Katsuro just made his debut so he'll get better in time.

    The Whitney I'm portraying is a combination of the amine and game version. She'll be a bit of a "girly-girly" during the gym battle. Since she'll be Katsuro's first gym challenge I wanted her to be a bit of a mentor as well, although more of the bossy kind. Aside from the anime, I don't see much media of the gym leader's personalities around other people. The games don't tell me that much about the gym leaders so I try to be a bit creative.

    Also thanks everyone for the comments. Much appreciated.
  11. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    Chapter 3: Face off! VS Whitney

    One hour after their trip to t he Radio Tower Katsuro found himself in a nice restaurant located near Goldenrod City’s department store. Katsuro stared at the menu trying to decide what to order. His mother and new step father had already ordered their meals and the waitress was waiting on his decision.

    “Um, ok just give me a burger but can I substitute the fries for a berry salad? No Chesto Berries please,” he said. The waitress wrote down his order in her notepad.

    “Sure honey. Pokémon trainers gotta eat healthy. I’ll be back soon with all y’all’s orders in a jiffy,” she said as she collected the menus. Then Katsuro sipped his water through a straw and stared down at his new Pokegear. He wasn’t allowed to broadcast the radio in the restaurant so he just stared at the screen.

    “So Katsuro,” said Nick casually. “I hear your favorite type of Pokémon is the rock type. That’s why Larvitar was your first Pokémon, right?”

    “Yeah,” Katsuro quietly responded.

    “Any other rock types you love?”

    “Couldn’t tell ya. I don’t see that many different Pokémon in the Sevii Islands.” Katsuro stayed unenthusiastic throughout the conversation.

    “Well, what other kinds of Pokémon do you like?” Katsuro took another sip of his water and then shrugged. “Well, anything?”

    “I don’t feel much like talking right now. Could you just keep flirting with my mom like you have been for the past year?”

    “Katsuro,” his mother snapped.

    “It’s ok Serenity. Remember you and I got married behind his back, so he never got to really meet me,” said Nick. He then looked at Katsuro who was trying hard to avoid eye contact. Katsuro began to wish he had a kid’s menu and crayons to entertain him. Ever since they left the Radio Tower he kept thinking about his real father and the fun they would have back in his home region.

    I wish you were here dad. Just because Nick gave me a great gift and married mom doesn’t make him my new dad, or a great dad, Katsuro thought to himself. He spent the rest of the night not talking to his step father. He didn’t even wish his him good night.

    The next day Katsuro, along with his mother and step father, arrived at the Goldenrod Gym as they had planned. A female trainer greeted them at the entrance. “You must be Whitney’s first challenger,” she said as she looked at Katsuro. Katsuro was wearing a blue t-shirt with the Pokeathlon’s logo on it that Nick had bought for him. He nodded and followed the trainer to the battle field where Whitney was waiting.

    “Good morning. I didn’t get a chance to properly introduce myself yesterday at the Radio Tower. I’m Whitney, the Normal Type Gym Leader. Everyone I knew got into Pokémon, but I got into cute Pokémon. I just love all their charms. It’s pretty rare when I get to be someone’s first gym challenge,” she said with a cheerful disposition. Katsuro took his place in the trainer’s box of the battle field across from her.

    “I’m Katsuro. I’m from the Sevii Islands. I’ve lived in five of them but spent most of my life on Quest Island,” he said while trying to relax himself. Serenity and Nick sat down on a bench against the wall to watch the battle.

    “The Sevii Islands huh? I’ve heard of that region but never actually been there. I guess it’d make a great vacation one of these days. You got to fill me in on which island has the cutest Pokémon. Oh, and which Island also had the best shopping,” said Whitney. Katsuro exhaled and showed no interest on talking. “Well enough about the small talk. Let’s get down to why you’re here. A gym Battle is a Battle to test how good of a trainer you really are. Weather you win or lose Katsuro, you should take this as a learning experience.”

    “OK, I’m ready Whitney,” said Katsuro, then he exhaled again to help him relax. Then he reached into his pocket and brought out one Pokeball. “Bring it on!”

    “That’s the spirit. Let’s make this a three on three battle.”

    “Three on three, but I only have two Pokémon on me.” Katsuro took a step back and was ready to leave the gym, but Whitney just tossed a pokeball into the air and then caught it.

    “Huh, I figured most ten year old trainers would have at least 3 three Pokémon on them at this point.”

    “I’m not ten! I turn twelve in a few months!”

    “OK, then. How about a two on two battle? I can adjust to my challenger’s needs.” Katsuro sighed out of relief and then pressed the button on his Pokeball to make it bigger.

    “OK, I agree. Larvitar come on out,” he shouted as he threw his Pokeball. It opened and Larvitar jumped out from the burst of light and took its position on the battle field.
    “Tar! Larvitar!”

    “I kinda guessed you’d use that Pokémon when I saw you at the Radio Tower. Clefairy, you’re up,” shouted Whitney as she threw her Pokeball. Clefairy emerged from the pokeball’s burst of light and then was bouncing up and down on the battle field. Then a female judge stood at the side of the battle field and held out two flags, and signaled the two trainers to begin the battle.

    “OK, Larvitar power up with Dragon Dance,” ordered Katsuro. Larvitar started glowing with an orange aura around it.
    “Laaar-viiiit-taaar,” cried out the Pokémon as it spun around and energy was drawn to it.

    “So it’s the preparation game huh? Clefairy, use Cosmic Power,” ordered Whitney.
    “Cleeef-fiary!” Clefairy started glowing pink and more pink energy swirld around it. Then once it had gather its energy it looked like pink stars were surrounding Clefairy.

    “Alright Larvitar, use Outrage!” Larvitar roared and then started glowing with dark blue energy. It charged at Clefairy and hit it real hard. Clefairy was knocked back a few feet. It got back up to its feet but then Larvitar charged a second time and pummeled it with its horn and stubby arms.

    “Good shot. Clefairy, time for Metronome.” Whitney watched as Clefairy bounced up and away from Larvitar and Larvitar stood there while still glowing with the dark blue aura. Then Clefairy began waving its fingers back and forth. Katsuro heard of this attack before and began shaking with anticipation. He knew anything could happen now. After a few moments, Clefairy’s hands started glowing.

    “Clefaiiiiiry,” shouted Clefairy as it began glowing dark gray. Then a second Clefairy formed from the dark gray energy and Clefairy’s body fell to the ground. The dark gray copy of Clefairy then grabbed Larvitar and was absorbed into Larvitar’s body.

    “Oh no, Clefairy used Memento,” said Whitney with a worried look on her face. The body of Clefairy then laid on the floor and was not moving.

    “Clefairy is unable to Battle. Larvitar wins,” shouted the female judge as she held up a green flag toward Katsuro and Larvitar.

    “Wow, that’s some bad luck for Whitney,” Nick said in a depressed mood.

    “We’re here to root for Katsuro! Who’s side are you on,” snapped Serenity. She gently slapped her husband’s hand.

    “Ow, who said I was even cheering for Whitney in the first place?”

    “Wow, that was easier then I thought. This could actually be a piece of cake,” Katsuro stated with a sense of confidence. Then he looked down at Larvitar who still had the dark blue aura surrounding it. Outrage attack was still active.

    “A cute girl like me doesn’t lose that easily. Milktank, you’re up next,” shouted Whtney as she threw her second Pokeball. Miltank appeared from the burst of light and then was rapidly stamping both feet on the ground. Obviously, it was excited to participate.

    “Keep it up with Outrage Larvitar,” ordered Katsuro.
    “Laaar-vitar!” Larvitar charged at Miltank, but then something else appeared next to Larvitar. It was the gray Clefairy that Larvitar absorbed a moment ago. Strangely, the Clefairy spirit seemed to grab Larvitar and weigh it down somehow. Larvitar hit Miltank, but Miltank didn’t winch. It seemed as though the attack barely harmed Miltank.

    “What’s going on? How are you battling me with two Pokémon,” wondered Katsuro.

    “Katsuro, Memento weakens your Pokémon’s power. Whitney isn’t battling you with two Pokémon. Clefairy’s spirit is just holding Larvitar back,” explained his step father.

    “Thanks, but when I want your advice I’ll ask for it,” shouted Katsuro.

    “Katsuro, be polite,” his mother snapped.

    “Listen to your parents little boy. Otherwise you’ll never learn to grow up to be a better trainer. Miltank, use Attract,” commanded Whitney. Then Miltank winked at Larvitar as it blew a kiss with hearts coming from it. The hearts then hit Larvitar and Larvitar fell in love.
    “La-ha-ha-har,” cried out Larvitar suggestively.

    “OK, that is just wrong. Who would fall in love with that fat cow,” wondered Katsuro. Then Whitney’s Miltank stomped the ground and angrily mooed at Katsuro.

    “I don’t know why you would want to insult such a cute Pokemon like my Miltank. Now Miltank use Body Slam,” shouted Whitney.

    “Larvitar, keep up the Outrage!” Larvitar’s Outrage attack was still active, but as soon as Miltank jumped and dropped its body on Larvitar the dark blue aura shut off. Larvitar was still infatuated by Miltank’s Attract.

    “Larvitar, do something!” Katsuro now understood what made a gym battle so challenging.
    “Lar… lar… lar… lar,” Larvitar sang. Now it was infatuated and confused.

    “One more Body Slam Miltank,” commanded Whitney. Miltank jumped and then landed on Larvitar who was still singing and taking wobbling step back and forth.
    “Lar… lar… lar… lar.”

    “Come one Larvitar. Try a Bite attack,” ordered Katsuro but it was no use. Larvitar was now hitting itself out of confusion.

    “Wrap it up Miltank! one more Body Slam,” Miltank jumped into the air.

    “Larvitar, snap out of it,” Katsuro shouted at the top of his lungs. Larvitar then stopped singing and then looked up to see Miltank about to land on it. Miltank landed on Larvitar with great force. Once it got up Larvitar was laying on the ground and was groaning.

    “Larvitar is knocked out. Miltank is the winner,” called out the judge. Katsuro then recalled Larvitar back into its pokeball.

    “Good try Larvitar. You did great for a first gym battle,” said Katsuro as he looked through the transparent red casing onto his resting Larvitar. Then he shrunk the pokeball and switched it in his pocket with Sneasel’s Pokeball. “It’s up to you now Sneasel. Go!” He threw Sneasel’s Pokeball. The ball bounced off the ground and let out the Pokemon.

    “Sneeeea-sel! Sneasel.” Sneasel stuck out both of its claws at toward its opponent. Miltank just stared down its opponent.

    “Aw, such a cute Sneasel, especially for a male one,” said Katsuro.

    “It’s male? How do you know,” asked Katsuro.

    “See that pink feather coming out of its ear. Female Sneasel’s usually are one to one and a half in long. Male’s are nearly twice as long as a females. I still think the pink feathers make them look cute regardless of gender,” explained Whitney.

    “OK, well Sneasel and I go way back. So let’s show them the results of our training from back at home. Use Ice Wind Sneasel,” shouted Katsuro. Sneasel exhaled a breath of cold wind. Miltank was hit but once again barely winched.

    “Good attack, but when you called my Miltank ‘fat’ you were right on the money.”


    “Miltank has Thick Fat ability. It protects it from Ice attacks.”

    “Uh oh.”

    “Now Miltank use Milk Drink,” call out Whitney. Miltank squeezed its udders and a big drop of milk squirted out and up into the air. Then Miltank opened its mouth and drank it in one gulp.

    “Miltank is recovering its HP,” said Nick. Katsuro once again ignored him.

    Let me learn this on my own, would ya Nick, thought Katsuro. “Now Sneasel use Taunt,” he said. Sneasel then pulled one of its eye lids down and stuck out its tongue. Then it turned around and slapped its rear end three at Miltank.
    “Sneasel snea!” Miltank angrily mooed at Sneasel.

    “Clever boy. Miltank use Rollout,” commanded Whitney. Miltank then rolled into a ball and then slammed into Sneasel. Sneasel was sent flying.

    “Sneasel, time for Aerial Ace!” Sneasel found its balance while in midair. It homed in on the rolling Miltank and then stuck it with its claw. Miltank was forced out of the Rollout formation and fell to the ground, landing on its tail and back.

    “Get back up Miltank. Rollout!” Miltank did just as its trainer told it too. Sneasel just got back on the ground with its back facing toward Miltank. Just at it looked over its soulder it was hit by Miltank and was sent flying with greater momentum.

    “Sneasel, no!” Sneasel went flying and crashed into the wall. Then it collapsed onto the ground. Sneasel was breathing heavily as it got back up to its feet. “Nice job. Now hit them with Faint Attack!” Sneasel began glowing with a dark aura.

    “Finish it with Rollout!” Miltank began rolling at high speed toward Sneasel. Sneasel gather all the power in its body and then waited for the right moment. Once Miltank was only a foot away from Sneasel it made its move. Sneasel struck its claw right into Miltank. It was a direct hit, but then it was too late to dodge. Miltank returned the favor and smashed Sneasel with Rollout. After rolling over Sneasel Miltank stopped its attack and was standing near the wall. Sneasel remained motionless on the ground.

    “Sneasel is unable to battle. The winner of this gym battle is Whitney,” called out the judge while raising a flag toward Whitney. Whitney then walked toward Katsuro who was now joining his Pokémon by its side.

    “You and Pokémon put in some good effort,” Whitney commented. Then Katsuro recalled Sneasel into its pokeball and placed it in his pocket. “Come by again someday. Miltank, time for a snack.” Miltank happily cheered and then followed its trainer as they left the battlefield. Katsuro’s parents then joined him on the battle field. Katsuro sighed and said only one thing.

    “Gr, we got our behinds kicked by a bovine.”
  12. CheeseEX

    CheeseEX New Member

    lol (first whoo) ........taunt = confused dosent it?

  13. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    No, Taunt prevents Miltank from using Attract or Milk Drink. I just had Sneasel be playful with the attack.

    By the way, who added the "awesome" and "Better then you" tags to this thread? Lucario EX?
  14. CheeseEX

    CheeseEX New Member

    just noticing that my shelf idk mite be the micksup grovlye:lol:

    getting my atacks confused agin revised the rating


    ps whats the point of the tags?
  15. Lucario EX

    Lucario EX Moderator<br>Fanfic Contest Host

    I haven't added any tags.:confused:
  16. bullados

    bullados <a href="http://pokegym.net/forums/showthread.php?

    Good to see the newbie isn't a Mary Sue character.

    For fights, I've found it's easier to read (and probably to write) when there's less dialogue and more description. It can also mean the difference between an average battle and an extraordinary one. Like, in the battle you posted above, think about the surroundings. What's the floor made of? How large is the arena? how high is the ceiling? Are there bleachers? If so, are they ground-level, raised, or lowered? Are there any peculiar features of the arena? how can each of these features be used in the battle?

    To give some examples, I love using rafters as part of my battleground. Plants make for good hiding spots. Tall grass can conceal movement. Dirt can be carved up to limit movement. Spectators make good distractions. The size and shape of the arena can limit or improve certain abilities. You can probably come up with more creative means of using the environment to your advantage in writing.

    A good way to do this is to think about how you would film a particular battle, what might look good on screen or to a live audience. The more visual you are in your approach to a battle, the easier it will be to write it. To quote a famous (if incredibly stupid) movie, "visualize, then attack". Visualize the battle in its entirety. Break it down into its elements, the more basic the better. Then put pen to paper and simply document everything you're seeing.
  17. gallade

    gallade New Member

    Oh, that was me....:redface::redface::redface::redface:
  18. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    Oh, ok then Gallade. Coming from you, those two new tags are the best comments I've recieved for this fan fic. I thought only mods could add or edit tags. That's why I questioned Lucario EX.

    As for what Bullados said I only have 3 words:


    ding. -_-

    Allright now that I got that outta my system, I will try to put more effort into future battles. Let me know if the next one I do shows any improvement, and thanks foe the tips. :smile: Chapter 4 may not be posted until June due to crazy work schedule and prepping for (and participating in) Battle Roads.
  19. CyberManectric

    CyberManectric Active Member

    Chapter 4

    Note: I originally intended to have a battle in this chapter but that got put off until the next chapter. Also, check my first post in this thread for a preview of the next upcoming chapter.

    Chapter 4: The Life Ahead​

    One week later Katsuro was making the final preparations for his upcoming journey. He decided that he had had enough of his new step father and it was best for him to be like most children his age and go on his own journey. He grabbed his knapsack which contained snacks, an extra change of clothes, medicine for his Pokémon, and a first aid kid for himself. Katsuro then put on a pair of blue and grey patted gloves for athletes that left the top of his fingers bare. After checking on his Larvitar and Sneasel in their transparent Pokeballs he headed out of his room and met with his mother and step father downstairs.

    Katsuro met his family near the front door where his stepfather was waiting with a new bicycle. The bike had flames painted on the aluminum frame. It was clear to Katsuro that Nick bought the bike for him to try to get on his good side, just like with the Pokegear.

    “Here you go katsuro. A new bike with a custom paint job. I hope it’ll be useful in your travels,” said Nick, and then he smiled and his yellow teeth stood out again. Katsuro grabbed the bike by the handle bars and closely inspected it. The tires were thin, that was good for speed. It was also a 21 speed bike, another good feature, and and had suspenders above both tires. After his quick inspection Katsuro patted his step father on the shoulder.

    “Thank you Nick, but please no more gifts. The new home, the Pokegear, the clothes,” Katsuro said as he pointed at his shirt. It was the same blue t-shirt with the pokeathlon logo on it that he wore during his Gym Battle last week. “Now it’s the bike. Seriously man, you’ve done more then enough for me. So thanks a lot.”

    “Katsuro, shouldn't you get a hair cut before you leave," his mother asked him. Katsuro just blew his bangs away from his right eye.

    "Relax mom. I'll definetly get a hair cut later this month," he reassured her.

    "Well son, just remember that if you want me to send you an Iapapa Berry pie just call me and I’ll have one sent to the closest city near you,” she said as she came up to hug him. She held her son so close and tight that he choked a bit.

    “Mom, you can let go now,” he said. Then she let go of her embrace. She watched her son walk his bike out the front door and then climb onto it.

    “OK, see you later mom and Nick. I’ll come back to Goldenrod for my twelfth birthday,” he said as he waved goodbye. Then he began pedaling and heading north towards Route 35.

    “Oh Katsuro, take care of yourself,” his mother shouted.

    “Best of luck on your journey kiddo,” shouted Nick. Katsuro just kept his head forward as he kept pedaling. He stayed on a road made just for cyclists in Goldenrod City that took him to the gatehouse near Whitney’s gym. Then out of the corner of his eye, Katsuro saw it.

    On the rooftop of a building near the Radio Tower was a silhouette of a four legged Pokémon with a cloud or mane waving in the wind. Katsuro saw it just long enough before the Pokémon turned around and jumped down. Just before entering the gatehouse separating Goldenrod and Route 35 he slammed on the brakes and looked back to where he had just saw the Pokémon.

    “Whoa, that’s the third time I’ve seen that Pokémon since coming to Johto. I wonder if it’s wanting to meet me,” he wondered. Then he recalled the second time he saw that shiny tiger. It was right after leaving the Goldenrod Gym last week. As he left the gym Katsuro sensed something was watching him. On the same rooftop near the Radio tower he saw the silhouette of the tiger Pokémon from the Ilex Forest. Now that he’s spotted it for the third time he knew he was destined to meet it. Katsuro couldn’t wait for his new life ahead of him.

    Katsuro rode up north on Route 35 and headed towards National Park. The Pokegear’s Map also served him as a GPS, showing the distance between him and his destination. After half an hour of nonstop cycling Katsuro let his guard down as he stared at the Pokegear’s screen while riding his bike on a steady downhill slope. He was riding on a dirt path that seemed somewhat deserted. Berry and green apricorn trees rose up on both sides of the path and hid much of Route 35’s scenary. Katsuro was so preoccupied with tracking his exact location that he didn’t see the tripod with an electronic device ahead of him. He crashed into it.

    “Blasphemy! What have you done you reckless child,” exclaimed a man. Katsuro was face down on the dirt path and lying next to the tripod he had just knocked over with his bike ahead of him. He brushed some of the dirt off his face and got up to his feet and rubbed his leg which hit the tripod. The man who was yelling at him ran over to the tripod and began inspecting his device for damage.

    “Sorry, my bad old man,” said Katsuro as he dusted himself off. The man who was inspecting the tripod had long wavy red hair. Katsuro could see an earring with a topaz sphere hiding within the tangles of red hair. He was also wearing a long gray robe as if he was a tower monk. Long bony fingers grabbed the electronic device which looked like a camera to Katsuro.

    “Well, thankfully my sensor here is functional. Please take more caution as you travel like a Ninjask,” said the red headed man as he reset the tripod. Then katsuro grabbed his bike and dusted off the dirt on the left handle bar.

    “Why place that thing in an area like this?” The red headed man kept his eyes glued to his electronic sensor.

    “If you must know I am on the lookout for something that is rightfully mine. A very special Pokémon,” explained the red headed man as he reset the sensor. “Once it detects something running at over 60 miles per hour it’ll take its picture and send me a distress signal, so I’ll find it one way or anther.”

    “Out of curiosity, this ‘special Pokémon’ wouldn’t happen to be an orange Pokémon with stripes, long fangs, and a gold cloud on its back?” Katsuro then hopped onto his bike and leaned on one leg before peddling off. The red headed man was suddenly intrigued by what Katsuro had just said. He turned to face him and Katsuro saw that his left cheek was slightly darker then his right and his left hand was also much darker then his right hand.

    “You saw it?!” The red headed man’s eyes widened as he looked at Katsuro for the first time.

    “And what if I did, and what’s with your skin old man,” wondered Katsuro. The man then let the sleeves of his robe cover his arms completely.

    “I’ve suffered some second degree burns,” he said. “But child if you have seen my special Pokémon then you must be quite the interesting specimen.” The man looked at Katsuro with his eyes running up and down, looking at Katsuro’s long brown hair, his slim build that was making the bike move quickly on the dirt path, his face that seemed slightly cheerful but also mischievous. “So tell me, did you actually see my special Pokémon,” he asked once again.

    “Three times,” answered Katsuro as he began peddling off towards National Park. The red headed man was beginning to give him the creeps. He didn’t dare look back at him. The red headed man just watched Katsuro pedal off into the horizon and then pondered for a bit.

    “If Raikou had let this young lad spot him a few times, then they must share a special connection. Hm, I’ll have to keep an eye on this child as well,” he said to himself. Then he reached for his Pokegear and called an acquaintance of his.

    Katsuro finally reached National park after another fourty minutes of cycling. He was tired and sweating a bit as he reached a gate house that lead to the main park or the Pokeathlon Dome. Immediately Katsuro headed for the dome as he couldn’t wait to see what other trainers did there. He walked his bike through the gate house as he headed there.

    The dome was so huge and it was more amazing then what Katsuro remembered from looking at it through the binoculars back at the Radio Tower. The sun had began to set, so the bright lights on the dome’s entrance dazzled him as they flashed blue and yellow occasionally showing the Pokeathlon’s logo and then snippets of Pokémon teams participating in the events. He couldn’t wait to get inside.

    Katsuro left his bike at the bike rack and then entered the building. It was dark inside the main lobby with just neon lights of blue, green, and pink light up around the huge reception area. There were benches with television monitors showing the current events live. Katsuro saw a Primape using its huge fists to smash a pile of bricks. He then turned his attention to the reception desk where a lady with pink hair was standing.

    “Excuse me, when can I sign up for the next event,” he asked the receptionist. She looked at Katsuro and the neon lights reflected their colors in his sweat.

    “Looks to me like you’ve already been participating in an event young man. Well if you want to participate we have the Skill Course that will be starting in fifteen minutes and we have room for two more teams,” she explained as she checked her computer.

    “Sweetness! Sign me up and both of my Pokémon,” exclaimed Katsuro. The receptionist then stopped staring at her computer monitor and then looked at katsuro with a puzzling expression.

    “Both of your Pokémon? Young man, you do have at least three Pokémon with you,” she asked. Katsuro then gasped and suddenly he felt his stomach churn.

    “Uh… no. I just started my Pokémon journey today. I was in such a rush to get here and participate that I didn’t think of capturing a third Pokémon.” The receptionist then hit the escape key on her keyboard and cancelled Katsuro’s registration.

    “I’m sorry but the rules state that you must have at least three Pokémon to enter any of the courses.”

    “Oh come on! How about if I act as the third athlete on the team. I’m pretty fit,” he said as he flexed his right arm, but his arm stayed skinny and showed nothing.

    “Believe me, you don’t want to be out on the field with Pokémon. That is asking for disaster young man. Now please move along now. There are other people who want to register.” Katsuro suddenly became aware that he had cut the line for registration and there were four people behind him who wanted to register. He also noticed that all four of them were wearing jerseys. While letting out a depressed sigh Katsuro walked out of the Pokeathlon Dome.

    He grabbed his bike and walked back to the gatehouse. As he walked through the gatehouse with his bike at his side he wondered what third Pokémon he should add to his team. Pidgey was the first Pokémon to come to his mind but then he though it was stupid looking and wouldn’t fit his style. Then he thought of capturing another rock type, but Geodude was an incredibly common Pokémon. No sense in capturing something like that.

    “Oh, why can’t I think of a good Pokémon?!” Katsuro messed with his hair out of frustration and as he closed his eyes the silhouette of the Pokémon with a cloud on its back entered his mind again. He opened his eyes and then calmed down. He didn’t even know exactly what Pokemon that was but somehow he knew that it would be a Pokémon he could add to his team. The only question now was where to find it and how to capture it. While thinking about the “special Pokémon” he entered National Park.
    Last edited: May 31, 2010
  20. ashinto

    ashinto New Member

    This is an amazing story. I was thinking of doing something with HG/SS, and this reminds me of what I had in mind.

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