The alarm clock was ringing, so noisily, that even the neighbours can hear it from afar. "Cyrene! Cyrene!" a voice called out. In an instant, a girl dropped off from her bed. Her name? Cyrene Eidenfield, most likely of Saffron City, the most vigilant city she had ever been in. She quickly turned off the alarm clock. "Oh My Gosh!" Cyrene scurried off to the bathroom to take a shower, and then she brushed her teeth. Her short silky hair was brushed and she got her black headband. She wore her violet shirt, her military skirt reaching her knees, her white leggings. She wore her pink converse and white socks. She readied her black back pack which had sandwiches, her clothing, her shoes, her socks, her headband, her skirts and bottoms, and medical items. Of course she had a spoon and fork with a plate and a bottle of water. She had blankets and pillows. So, she had a complete camp pack. She hurriedly ate her eggs and bacon and drank her orange juice. She brought along cake and juice, too. She got her pet's tiny bags filled with food and water, blankets and pillows, and of course she will bring along the cages. "Vandom! Friskee!" she called out to her pets; a German Shepherd and a K9. She headed to Proffessor Leone's Lab to get her pokemon, riding her bike while saying Goodbye to her parents and her sister. She brought her cellphone, too. When she arrived, she had the last pokemon, a Bulbasaur. How delightful. She wanted to fight other trainers.
The Adventure Begins
- Thread starter Reymei
- Start date
bullados
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There are no good writers. Only good editors.
And good editing comes with practice. The first thing that you put down on paper is almost 100% of the time NOT going to be the final product. Write something, then leave it for a couple of days. Come back, and read it as if you're reading somebody else's work. You'll find your mistakes, and you'll be able to clean them up quite easily.
As far as the pacing, yeah, it's a little fast. I usually try and put between one and three actions in each nondialogue paragraph, as that keeps my pacing on track. Also, remember that dialogue gets a separate paragraph from everything else.
And good editing comes with practice. The first thing that you put down on paper is almost 100% of the time NOT going to be the final product. Write something, then leave it for a couple of days. Come back, and read it as if you're reading somebody else's work. You'll find your mistakes, and you'll be able to clean them up quite easily.
As far as the pacing, yeah, it's a little fast. I usually try and put between one and three actions in each nondialogue paragraph, as that keeps my pacing on track. Also, remember that dialogue gets a separate paragraph from everything else.