The Legend of Thunder: Updated 6/8 Now truly complete!

Discussion in 'Pokemon Fan Fiction' started by Pikamaster, Jul 22, 2008.

8 league13 468 60
  1. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    BORDERLINE CONTENT WARNING There are a couple of parts in this story that are bordering on PG-13, but do not quite reach it. If you would rather not read this sort of material, or you are under the age of 10, you should probably turn back now.

    Okay, this is the first time I've let anybody outside of my family see what I've written, so please let this be good. To keep things simple, I have all the pokemon speak English. I'll figure something out for when humans talk, if I get that far.

    EDIT: To all new readers. Please bear with me through these first few chapters. Even though they are bad, they get a lot better. (Yes, there is little to no grammar, but please don't disregard it because of that.)

    Quick Links

    Prologue and Chapter One (This Post)

    Chapter Two
    Chapter Three
    Chapter Four
    Chapter Five
    Chapter 5 (Lightning's POV)
    Chapter Six
    Chapter Seven
    Chapter Eight
    Chapter Nine
    Chapter Ten
    Chapter Eleven
    Chapter ??? Part One Part Two
    Chapter Twelve Part One Part Two
    Chapter Thirteen
    Happy ending Happy ending Epilogue
    Dark ending and Epilogue

    The Legend of Thunder


    Long ago, before humans walked the earth, a prophecy was made to a powerful leader. His name was Surge. Armed with a light ball that hung on a necklace that he never took off, Surge was the mightiest Pikachu on the planet. But even the greatest grow old and die, and he was no exception. With three sons and two daughters, the elderly leader thought that he could die in peace, buried with his treasure so nobody else could be as powerful as him. Wrong. Only a week before his death, Mew teleported into his nest with a prophecy. In dark, ominous words, Mew recited the great and dark prediction.

    “In a far away time, when humans walk the earth,
    your descendant will come, strange colors at birth.

    Named for the sound a lightning storm does make,
    his attacks, so strong, boulders they’ll break.

    A mighty rodent he’ll be, with twice your power,
    but help the strange one will need, in his darkest hour.

    The light ball you must lay, in a cave not far,
    seal it then die, inside the fallen star.

    But your spirit will linger, to give him aide when he summons your ghost
    reveal the treasure’s location, when his bodies’ your host.

    Do not do this, don’t say you weren’t told,
    legendary power they’ll have, enemies of he who is red and gold.”​

    After prophesying, Mew let out a high pitched giggle of amusement and vanished as quickly as he had come. Needless to say, the old one was so scared and confused at the prediction, and honored that he was in a legendary presence, that he immediately did as Mew told him to do. And though, after he died, his offspring searched for his powerful treasure, it was never found, becoming just a story for young Pichu.

    Chapter 1​

    “Is that all you can do?” A Pikachu taunted. His opponent, a male a few years older then then his foe, fainted from the wounds he had received in the battle. The battle for leadership of the Pikachu clan. The winner, an oddly colored Pikachu that had golden fur instead of yellow, went over to his girlfriend, a pretty, less powerful Pikachu named Lightning, to gloat over the victory. “What’s with Pikachus these days?” he asked “So confident that they can beat me.” “You better not gloat too much.” she teased “One day one of them might beat you.” They ran off laughing together, deeper into the forest the Pikachu clan called its home, to look for a quiet dinner together.

    Back at the nesting area, the Pikachu that had lost was complaining, and he wasn’t the only one. “Why is that arrogant Thunder our clan leader?” he asked “Why not someone who is older and more experienced, not that young, stupid thing that we call a leader!” A young female cried out “Spark, don’t let him hear you! If he does, he will banish you from the clan!” But Spark wouldn’t stop “I don’t care! The clan isn’t the same since he became leader!” At this there were muttered agreements “I say we get rid of “the all mighty Thunder” once and for all!” And at this, everyone agreed, and together, they started plotting about how they would get rid of their clan leader.

    Well, there ya go. chapter 2 will start when I see the reviews for this. If anybody reads it. And don't get your hopes up for a legend, the prophecy was that legend. Yah, I know, a prophesy and a legend aren't the same things, but "The Legend of Thunder" sounded better then "The Prophecy of Thunder".
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2010
  2. DarthPika

    DarthPika New Member

    You read to much. >_>

    This sounds like a nice mix of all the recent books you have read. :p
  3. meditite rox

    meditite rox New Member

    So there is a Pikaclan? Are there any Raichu? And what books have you been reading anyway? And you may want to spell Prophecy right, seeing that you use it so much. =P
  4. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    The spell check said that it was right. No, no raichu, yet. I might add some later. Don't listen to DarthPika, he's just saying that. This is my own work. And I need a new name for this and names for characters. I recently learned that a Pokemon episode was called The Legend of Thunder, but I have no idea what it was about.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  5. charmander rox

    charmander rox New Member

    It was about Raikou.

    So, no Raichu, eh? Not a single Pikachu in the clan can find a Thunder Stone?

    btw, did you get any ideas for this from the Warriors book series?
  6. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    No, I read them, but it was either clan, tribe, group or pack. And somewhere, I can't remember where, there was something that said "Some Pikachus like their personality to much to evolve" or something like that. BTW, if a Pikachu evolves, it can't use a light ball. Great, I've been siged.:rolleyes: And something I noticed. Both of you ( meditie rox and charmander rox) have spelling quotes.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  7. DarthPika

    DarthPika New Member

    No, this is your own cut and paste work. You just took a bunch of the books you read and put them together and made it pokemon. BTW SPELL CHECK FTW. :lol:
  8. meditite rox

    meditite rox New Member

    The reason I asked about the books is because I figured you read the Warriors series, because you used Clans and Leaders and Prophecies and all, but that would be just where you got the idea of that, not that you copied everything. The reason it said "some Pikachus don't want to evolve" is because Ash's Pikachu didn't want to, so people think it is the generic Pikachu, although it is not, and that many Pikachu don't want to evolve, although probably most Pikachu do.
  9. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    If you're going to keep saying stuff like this, I'm going to report you for spam. The prophecy was just because I wanted a way to start the story, and I'm good with poems (kinda) so I did this. And I told you, I used "clan" because I thought that it sounded better then the other choices.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  10. DarthPika

    DarthPika New Member

    Yes, he did read those books a zillion times.
  11. meditite rox

    meditite rox New Member

    I read the series as well. Twice.

    vNo, you read it three times.
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2008
  12. charmander rox

    charmander rox New Member

    ^ No, it was three times.

    You know, a prophecy isn't very happy when it tells you "Seal it then die". You've got a few grammar issues, still.
  13. Lucario EX

    Lucario EX Moderator<br>Fanfic Contest Host

    Make up your mind whether or not to spell out numbers. Switching back and forth looks ridiculous.

    Also, it is kind of obvious that this fic was influenced slightly by the Warriors series (Wow, has everyone read those books?), but that's not really as bad as everyone's making it sound. It's easy to be subconsciously influenced by books you've read, and it's not necessarily a bad thing, as long as whatever you're writing has enough of your own ideas.

    DarthPika, reading too much is when you forget to eat and sleep. Nothing short of that is reading too much.:tongue:
  14. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    Yah, I know. I also hate typos. *fixed*
    I agree.
    I know. I read those books a lot. But I honestly wasn't thinking of thm when I wrote this.
    Tell me what so I can *maybe* fix them. DarthPika, if you won't post anything on topic or useful, then just leave and stop spamming my thread. Anyways, here's chapter two, enjoy.

    Chapter 2​

    For the next few weeks, everything seemed normal for Thunder. Pichus would beg their mothers for stories, Spark was back to training, and the rest of the clan was doing everyday chores. But what the leader didn’t know was that Spark and the other members of the clan had decided on how they would get Spark to finally beat Thunder and become leader. Since Spark had decided that he would do almost anything to gain leadership, he, and all the other Pikachus, came to the conclusion that the only way to defeat Thunder was for Spark to evolve. So he trained from sunrise to sunset every day for almost a month, and prepared for evolution. On the night that he finally decided to evolve, he traveled deep into the forest to make sure that the red and gold one didn’t see him evolve. Since he had to wait for the Hoothoot that he had forced to bring him a thunderstone, he listened to the sounds of the forest. But while he was listing, he heard part of a conversation in strange voices “…Pikachu…strange…capture…” As the voices faded into the night, Spark wondered what language they were speaking in, it certainly wasn’t Pokémon. But these thoughts were interrupted as the Hoothoot arrived with the thunderstone. With great anticipation, he watched the owl Pokémon drop the item and quickly fly away, hoping that the Pikachu wouldn’t electrocute him because he was late. But he needn’t have worried as Spark was staring at the rock that would evolve him, wondering how this mere stone would change his form. But thoughts of what he came here to do, broke him from that spell, and with only a moments hesitation, Spark reached out and touched the stone. He felt the effects instantly, as he was enveloped in a harsh, white light. His feet grew longer as he grew bigger, while he noticed that his fur turned orange and his cheeks yellow. The last change that evolution had given him, was that his tail had grown longer, and his ears bigger. After his body stopped changing, he just stood there, relishing the new found power coursing through him. He was going to enjoy challenging Thunder again in the morning.

    Thank you meditite rox. If it weren't for you mentioning Raichu, that chapter would have been a lot harder. And I know that these chapters are short and I'll try to start making them longer, but don't hold your breath.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  15. DarthPika

    DarthPika New Member

    Those aren't typos, you do it all the time. lol :rolleyes:
  16. charmander rox

    charmander rox New Member

    Don't worry, getting ideas from the Warriors series isn't a bad thing.

    Alright, this chapter is very weird. I mean, you just have a little event with Spark training, then waiting to get a Thunder Stone, then evolving. Not much stuff going on.

    How old is Thunder, anyway? In the first chapter, everyone was calling him too young, but he also called Spark young, and they're thinking that Spark would make a better leader. Also, you have Pichus begging Thunder for stories, when he is apparently 'young'. And are all of their names just random words that are connected to electricity?
  17. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    Yes, this was a very boring chapter. The next one is going to be better.
    I didn't mean for it to sound like the pichus were begging Thunder for stories. *goes and fixes*
    almost certainly maybe.
    That's just me being stupid.:redface: *goes and fixes* There, If you read chapter one, the word "young" no longer applies to Spark. Thunder is supposed to have just evolved from a pichu, making that around a two years. And I'm saying that pokemon mature wayyyyyyyyyyyyy faster than humans in this story.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  18. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    I'm going to try to have chapter three posted on Tuesday. Be warned, it will probably be short and boring, but chapter four should be better, and possibly longer, but chapter four might take a looooooong time.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  19. Pikamaster

    Pikamaster Active Member

    OK. I had hoped that I would have this up earlier, but that didn't happen. After this, chapter four might go up within a week. But anyways, here it is.

    Chapter 3​

    Thunder awoke to cries of wonder and excitement. Deciding that the first thing he would do that morning would be to find out what all the commotion was about, instead of going back to sleep. He walked out of his nest. What he saw surprised him so much, he almost fainted from shock. There, in the center of a circle of admiring Pikachus, was a Raichu. It was Spark. If the oddly colored leader hadn’t of hear the rest of the clan addressing the Raichu by name, he would never have guessed that Spark would’ve chosen to evolve. Seeing that his leader was awake, the newly evolved Spark walked over to him. “Ready for a re-match?” he asked. “Ready to win, if that’s what you mean” Thunder replied. For a while, the two electric rodents just glared at each other, then, Thunder set the time and place for the battle. “Dusk, the clearing, winner takes position of leader.” “Oh, I’ll be there” Spark said with a widening grin “I’ll be ready to take my place as the new leader.” But Thunder had already walked away, not hearing the Raichu’s final words.

    “I can’t believe that Spark evolved just to beat me!” Thunder exclaimed to Lightning a few hours later “But he won’t, evolving won’t make him win.” But his girlfriend wasn’t so sure “Aren’t you just a little worried?” she inquired “He seems to have leveled up a few times, and how can you be sure that he evolved just to beat you?” But Thunder just scoffed at her words, a little angry that she doubted him. “Mark my words” he said “Spark will lose faster than last time, and why else would he evolve?” Then Thunder ran off, deeper into the forest to go have fun in a near by pond until it was time for the battle.

    Well, there ya go. I'm also going to give you a level guide for Thunder, Spark and Lightning now.

    Lv. 25 Evolved from Pichu at Lv. 20

    Lv. 30 Evolved from Pichu at Lv. 10 evolved from Pikachu at Lv. 30

    Lv. 23 Evolved from Pichu at Lv. 15

    Please post reviews.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  20. charmander rox

    charmander rox New Member

    So a Level 25 Pikachu is leader of the Clan? Makes no sense. What's this world coming to?

    You're doing a little bit better on your details, but it's still lacking, especially when compared to fics such as Daieoskail or RQO. Chapters are still short.

Share This Page