Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

The ranger chronicles part 1

CheeseEX

New Member
Chapter 1

Bud had just become a Pokémon ranger when his first mission was assigned to him.
There was a Pokémon that was in the viridian forest that was attacking people and Pokémon.
His mission was to find this Pokémon and capture it calm it down and release it.

Those who were attacked said they saw a flash of yellow then they felt paralyzed.
Then they were sent flying with a powerful electric blast.
Before bud left the ranger station a trainer came in.
He said that he saw what the Pokémon was it turns out it was a Pikachu.

Bud quickly found him self at viridian forest thanks to a pidgyoto.
He went into the forest and what he saw amazed him the multitude of Pokémon was astounding he didn’t know how he was going to find 1 specific Pokémon.
Bud started his search but he quickly found that Pikachu aren’t easy to find.
Then he felt like he was being watched he turned but nothing was there.

He toke a zigzagy path then doubled back.
Sure another there was a Pikachu then suddenly it attacked.
Bud dodged but tripped over a tree root then he got a jolt and was out cold.
the end of chapter 1
 
Wow. Um... Where do I start? No dialog, almost no info on Bud, no detail. You didn't capitalize Bud, you didn't use commas, I feel like I'm reading something written by a 8 year old. (If you are 8, sorry.)
 
"im not very god." LOL!

Anyway, where's the grammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmar?????????!!11!!!!!!one!!!1one!!!!111!!!111one!????

You need more capitals for one. Bud should always be capitalised, etc. You need better punctuation, too. There are NO commas whatsoever... Microsoft Word is your friend. You'll want to use it, especially if you don't know how to spell alot of the words here.
 
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You need more capitals for one. Bud should always be capitalised, etc. You need better punctuation, too. There are NO comas whatsoever... Microsoft Word is your friend. You'll want to use it, especially if you don't know how to spell alot of the words here.

No comas? *facepalms* I think you mean no commas.:lol:

But yeah, you really need to add more detail and fix up the spelling and grammar.
 
No comas? *facepalms* I think you mean no commas.:lol:

But yeah, you really need to add more detail and fix up the spelling and grammar.

OOOPS! *Facepalm* I typed it quickly... lol...

CheeseEX - The comma button is just on the left of the period button. See it? Good. You'll need it. =P
 
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