A behavior question/issue

[japple52]

At a Battle Road, my son had to play another child who had rather unsportsmanlike conduct. After overhearing the other seniors and juniors talk about this child, they all had experienced the same issue. At two different tournaments, my son has almost been is tears after playing this child. There are lots of rule questions, questionable shuffling (long, underneath the table shuffles, and when his cards were cut after said shuffle, he’d get mad), and most importantly harassment. He had 4 complaints from 3 different juniors, and when playing my son, there were constant issues in both swiss and T2. Finally, after 1 caution and 2 warnings in T2 about shuffling under the table, a prize plenty was given.

During T2 match, I heard him constantly say the following:

“That card is so annoying!”
“I hate that card!”
“You’re annoying me!”
Also, he kept mentioning (rubbing-in) how my son’s Pokemon couldn’t affect his.

My son told me that he’s said worse when judges and parents weren’t around. On a few occasions, he was even disrespectful to the judges.

My son will be at other tournaments where this child will be. I keep telling him not to worry about it and to stay focused on his game. To me, this situation goes beyond bad temper but bullying.

I understand this is a tough situation for judges, as they aren’t there to parent. I just don’t think my son or other children should be subjected to this type of behavior. In fact, I enjoy taking my son to POP events because of the environment and nice people. I’m just not sure what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this? I had trouble watching my son’s T2 match because I saw he was really getting angry and upset.

Thanks,

 

[salyvan]

Where in the world are this kid's parents when this is going on?

You're correct in the fact that the judges aren't there to parent the kids, but they *are* there to enforce
the spirit of the game, no?

 

[Rogue Archetype]

OH YOU'VE STRUCK A NERVE WITH ME THERE!!!

This is a HOT Topic with me...

I complained about this same sort of thing at a BRs AND a prerelease.

The problem is the age of the child.

It's a YOUNG CHILD, so the judges don't know how strictly they should enforce the SOTG standard.

My advice. TIGHTEN UP. We're trying to provide them with a foundation of behavioral conduct. Rewarding fits and bad behavior is SO NOT THE ANSWER.

I would've flat-out, suggested that the child be penalized or told the judge that my child will SCOOP the match. Her self-esteem is WAY more important than a 40 minute Pokemon match. THAT kid is the problem and, when they don't ENFORCE the standard, THEY become a problem. You can't expect the mastes to behave all-of-a-sudden when they've been in anachy mode from the beginning!

I'm an elementary school teacher (Walmart's 2008 Teacher of the Year for Tappahannock VA Region)
and I have NO QUALMS about correcting other people's children.

I'm SO used to seeing the act that I can detect it before it even occurs.
Somewhere in turn 3... it's like a curtain has opened and the little beast within has been released!
Name-calling, babbling, sometimes kicking under the table, badgering, belittling.. yeah... I've seen it too.

I've observed how the average adult/judge is totally caught off-guard a kid goes primal in the middle of a match.

My FAVORITE situation is when a kid WILLINGLY and INTENTIONALLY cheats and then has this ENORMOUS FIT when they're caught. They cry excessively loud and hide their face (so noone can read their fake expression). I'm used to these antics and, when you call the kid on it, the behavior ceases quickly.

I actually looked a kid right in the eyes (in the middle of his hissy-fit) and said ... "Do you want to stop playing? Are you ready to go?" He says "No." I continued "Then, you need to either make a play or quit the game because the little girl wants to play and you've taken too long to make a move." The kid played on. The judge kinda looked at me (because my interfering REALLY put him in a bad spot ... as an official... but.. the kid was FLAT OUT going off... ). I walked back out of the way, the judge took it from there and the game continued.

By the way... the kid had brough ANOTHER deck and fused it in w/ his tournament deck betwwen rounds and got caught! So, he "cried" his way out of it by acting confused and upset. ... *tsssss*

People. If you're indulgent. The kid acts up and finds ways to get out of trouble.

If I were a judge, I'd be dogmatic with kids that resort to such undesireable behaviors.
It'd be shape-up-or-ship-out.
I do not believe in catering to one at the inconvieience of all.
If given a boundary, a child WILL learn to adapt.
They don't make the rules. They follow them.

BTW. My own kid is a special needs child who plays with one arm. So, I use the same approach with her. If you can't behave or adhere to the standards outlined in SPIRIT OF THE GAME, then don't play anymore. No excuses.

 

[Lawman]

Submit feedback on your my pokemon acct for that event and every event this child misbehaves. Talk to the PTO/TO and the HJ for the event and express your frustration that this child is causing issues with other kids in the tourney. If there arent boundries set down and consequences for actions, then the child will never learn.

Keith

 

[secretsof2113]

A lot of the judges for the game are in their 20's, and many of us don't have kids yet. So of course when something like this comes up, we're not always sure how to act upon it. I dislike seeing kids upset, but at the same time, i dislike kids who decide to take advantage of being young, and are completely aware of it.

Sometimes the kids don't even know they are doing it, and it's not always easy to get them to learn. Sometimes even talking to the parent of the child can be helpful, as long as they don't get offended by the whole "you're pinpointing my child" thing. If that happens, go to the HJ or TO about it.

 

[japple52]

Thanks for the replies. I’m not faulting the judges, although the child’s behavior really needed to be put in check. He was warned several times about his sportsmanship, but never penalized for that. Again, I do understand that it’s hard for judges to deal with a younger child throwing a fit or misbehaving.

Kids sometimes act up. We all do, but when it turns into harassment or belittlement, which really starts affecting the game state, and the overall enjoyment of event, it just isn’t right.

I would've flat-out, suggested that the child be penalized or told the judge that my child will SCOOP the match. Her self-esteem is WAY more important than a 40 minute Pokemon match. THAT kid is the problem and, when they don't ENFORCE the standard, THEY become a problem.[/I]

This comment is really what I was struggling with at the time. I’d hate to interfere with the match or feel like I'm overreacting. It wasn’t until my son kept mentioning how bad the matches were after the event that I determined I wasn’t overreacting. I thought of having him scoop too, but I didn’t feel my son should have to scoop because of harassment. It's not right, and it gives the other child exactly what he wants, although I agree that my son’s self-esteem is more important than a Pokemon match.

I’ll consider contacting PTO/TO or talking to HJ about it. That’s a good suggestion. I really don’t want this to happen at every tournament we attend this season.

Thanks,

 

[ApachePrime]

I have to admit that I've seen this sort of thing as a Judge and not known exactly what to do. It wasn't nearly as bad as you're describing above, but I know I had to talk to a few kids about SOTG after a handful of "That card is so annoying!" and "I just destroyed you!" comments.

I think it's hard to issue more than a prize penalty to the junior division. However, I think a good alternative to penalizing through the game is to grab the parents and ask them to talk to their child.

Sounds like you have the right idea with talking to your PTO/Judging Staff, I'm sure they'll figure out some way to solve it.

 

[japple52]

I have to admit that I've seen this sort of thing as a Judge and not known exactly what to do. It wasn't nearly as bad as you're describing above, but I know I had to talk to a few kids about SOTG after a handful of "That card is so annoying!" and "I just destroyed you!" comments.

I think it's hard to issue more than a prize penalty to the junior division. However, I think a good alternative to penalizing through the game is to grab the parents and ask them to talk to their child.

Sounds like you have the right idea with talking to your PTO/Judging Staff, I'm sure they'll figure out some way to solve it.

As a judge, I can only imagine this is a hard situation to deal with. Personally, I don't sweat the bad sportsmanship stuff too much. It's when this bahavior turns to bullying and intimidation.

Comments like you described are to be expected from kids, who don't unbderstand the difference between getting excited and being a poor sport. I often address this with my son. They're kids and are still learning social skills. Also, sometimes their temper gets the better of them. Again, this is to be expected.

In this case, it's constant and not just verbal. It's card snatching, slamming fist down, and grunting. This is the 2nd event where I witnessed the child's behavior first hand and from overhearing the other juniors, it happens often. Looking at it from a purely competitive standpoint, although this isn't my primary concern, the child gains an unfair advantage by rattling and demoralizing the other kids.

A judge addressing the child's parents might be a good idea. I thought about talking to his parents myself, but I think it's better a neutral party do it.

Regardless, I don't want to "beat a dead horse" here. I have some good ideas now on how to handle this thanks to all the feedback.

 

[The Fish King]

Like secretsof2113 mentioned I fall in the mid 20's range who is single with no kids. In fact I have no plans on ever getting married or having kids. Yet, I am often the one chosen to judge the Juniors Division of the major events in Utah. I am not good at parenting, but I am very good at talking to people. I can talk to anybody about anything at any time. As a side result I can talk to members of the Junior Division at a level that isn't condescending. I have found that the best thing to do in this situation is to tell the player outright that his behavior is unacceptable. Give an appropriate penalty and tell the player that you don't want to see or be told about behavior like that again. The key is to maintain a level voice on don't frown. I am always smiling during an event and relativly jovial. I even joke around with the players when it isn't distracting from the event. When giving a penalty I go straight faced and serious. The change in attitude has an impact on reception of the penalty. After i give the penalty I give a warm, inviting smile to the player then return to my happy-go-lucky state. It helps the player feel I am not picking on him or her, but let's them know I am serious about what happened. It works well for me.

 

[Lucario EX]

During T2 match, I heard him constantly say the following:

“That card is so annoying!”
“I hate that card!”
“You’re annoying me!”
Also, he kept mentioning (rubbing-in) how my son’s Pokemon couldn’t affect his.

All of those seem reasonable, but still borderline, for a little kid. The other stuff sounds like unsporting conduct, though.

Can you PM me this kid's name? That way, if I catch him at this sort of behavior, I'll know he's done it before.

I actually looked a kid right in the eyes (in the middle of his hissy-fit) and said ... "Do you want to stop playing? Are you ready to go?" He says "No." I continued "Then, you need to either make a play or quit the game because the little girl wants to play and you've taken too long to make a move." The kid played on. The judge kinda looked at me (because my interfering REALLY put him in a bad spot ... as an official... but.. the kid was FLAT OUT going off... ). I walked back out of the way, the judge took it from there and the game continued.

I'm not sure what the situation was, but if it was your daughter playing and this was at a tournament, the judge had every reason to be annoyed. I understand that you had good intentions, but there are too many people out there who would do something like that to give their kid an advantage.