Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

Happy B-Day Chuck!

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet as to who could win in an arm wrestling match. The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their pants.
 
First Avenue used to be named Chuck Norris, but then was changed, as no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2
 
Chuck Norris was going to be in super smash bro brawl but his flying round house kick flew off the screen :lol:

---------- Post added 03/12/2013 at 04:08 PM ----------

Got two this time :biggrin:

Chuck Norris won the world series of poker using only Pokemon :lol:

Chuck Norris once was walking when he then got bitten by a snake after three long painful days the snake finally died :lol:
 
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Chuck Norris was only ever wrong once. When he thought he made a mistake.

Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife with butter.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris doesn't do stand-up comedy, because nobody laughs at Chuck Norris and lives.

There was only one movie ever banned from showing after the first showing in theaters. Chuck Norris: The Movie in 3D. It was banned after a 3D roundhouse kick killed the whole audience.

Chuck Norris died 30 years ago. Death is just afraid to tell him.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a corner off.
 
Here are a few more that made me laugh:



When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead, it is just afraid to move.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.....twice.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
 
If Chuck Norris where a Pokemon- he would have an Adamant Nature, be Shiny, have flawless IV'S of 32 across the board, has only one needed attack which is Round House, and not even a Master Ball can capture him.
 
Chuck Norris ordered a porterhouse steak and sent it back because the bone was too tender.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as Giraffes.

When Chuck Norris does a push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up, he is pushing the ground down.

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
 
If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only Sign Language.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decide what time it is.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital .
 
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records, it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking 'bout

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
 
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