Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

Short stories by me(isadude) Update: 3/31/10

meisadude

New Member
CHAPTER 1: BEGINNING TREK

Jordan awoke on the day before his birthday. He was psyched about getting his first Pokemon today, the only downside was that he lived in Fallarbor Town, a good two days walk from Littleroot where the Pokemon professor lived. And, to make matters worse, his mom insisted on coming with him, although he was almost ten. "A wild Pokemon will attack, and you wont be able to do anything because you don't have your own Pokemon yet. and no, you cant use one of your dads either. don't give me that look, you know how much his Linoon hates you, and hes the most docile." she would always say, and each time, Jordan fought a losing battle of trying to get out of it.

"Breakfast!" his moms voice cut through his thoughts like a hot knife through butter. Jordan got up, got dressed, and walked downstairs shortly after exiting his room.

"Good morning honey, how was your night?"

"Uh, just like any other I suppose..." Jordan replied, curious as to why his nights were suddenly important. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, your tenth birthday's tomorrow and I was just curious." his mom replied, suddenly looking like there was something she wasn't telling him.

"Whats the secret?" Jordan asked, catching on. just then, his dad, an athletic looking kind man with the beginnings of a beard appeared in the doorway.

"Ohhhh, scrambled eggs, my favorite! and orange juice! whats the rare occasion?" his father asked, pretending to forget about Jordans birthday.

"Da-ad, you know what tomorrow is." Jordan laughed as they all sat down to eat.
__________________________________________________ ___________
ELSEWHERE:
"Doctor, are you sure you want to do this?" a lab coat clad assistant asked. "Yes, commence phase two of The Awakening." the lab assistant pushed a lever up on the Master Control Panel and a white light suddenly filled the room.
__________________________________________________ ___________
"Can we stop here?" Jordan asked his mom as they entered Mauville. The trip from Fallarbor was fairly uneventful, with the only excitement being the occasional sighting of a Pokemon (Jordan's mom insisted that they put on repellent to make the trip faster and safer). It was almost five in the afternoon and they had been walking all day, only stopping to rest at an old ladies house just outside of Fiery Path to rest.

"I guess, but we need to find a hotel first." -And I don't like the look of this part of town- Jordan's mom thought scanning Mauville and seeing nothing but alleys and the brightly lit Game Corner and the out-of-place gym.

"OK, but first, can we stop at the Game Corner?" ever since hearing his older sisters stories about her adventures during her rare visits home, Jordan has been wanting to see what the Game Corner was like.

"Absolutely not! Do you know what goes on in casinos like those?..." Jordan's mom ranted while Jordan made a mental note to go there the first chance he gets.

THE NEXT DAY 7:04AM

"Happy birthday!" Jordan awoke suddenly, having his dream of a mile high ice cream cone instantly shattered into unremembered details of his life.

"Uuunnnggghhhhhhh!" Jordan moaned momentarily forgetting that today was his tenth birthday despite the wake up call. "Jessy!" Jordan exclaimed as he opened his eyes and saw his older sister sitting on the foot of his bed. "What are you doin' here?"

"Celebrating your tenth birthday of course! I was on my way to rebattle the third gym leader and happened to catch news of your arrival in the very town I was heading to!" Jordan's sister was fourteen and had fought and beaten the eight gym leaders, the elite four, and now the first two gyms again (who used their much stronger Pokemon for rematches) (she still hadn't beat the champion which is why she is still in Hoenn).

Jordan dove across the bed and hugged his sister, whom he hadn't seen for a couple of months.

After Jordan, his mom, and his sister ate breakfast at a Miltanks Café, Jordan was ready to be on the road again.

"Love you sis, bye!"

"You too! Oh, wait a sec, i have something to give you!" Jessey pulled out three pokeballs and two greatballs from the utility pouch on her belt. "These are for you."

"Thanks! Now I don't have to buy any before I start my journey!" Jordan ran up to Jessey and hugged her. "Bye"

Jordan and his mom left the south exit of Mauville and shortly after were confronted by a wild Minun.

"Drat, forgot the repellent." Jordan's mom pulled out one of the three pokeballs she had brought with and tossed it in front of her. "Go, Swellow! Use Wing Attack!" Swellow, a medium sized bird with dark blue feathers on its back and whit on the front leapt into the air and soard toward the Minun striking it with its wings, causing an instant knock out because of the sheer power of a high leveled Swellow to a low leveled Minun. "Good, Sellow, return." A red beam of light shot from the pokeball in Mrs. McAwn's outstretched arm.

Moments later, Jordan found himself covered in Pokemon repellent. He and his mom turned right down a u-shaped path covered in grass. The path was under the cycling road that trainers with bikes rode across to avoid wild Pokemon.

At the end, the path forked. You could go straight and cross a small body of water or you could turn left and go toward Slateport. The quickest way to Littleroot was to go straight and cross the water on either the hourly ferry or on a Pokemon's back. The ferry left fifteen minutes ago, so Jordan's mom released he Wailmer, a large blue ball Pokemon resembling a whale, into the water. Jordan and his mom got on its back and the Wailmer used Aqua Jet to shoot itself forward faster than the ferry could ever hope to go. A few minutes later, Jordan and his mom reached and over passed the ferry. A few minutes later and they reached land. The ferry wouldn't be there for another ten minutes.

They walked a bit, turned left, and headed into Oldale Town. By now it was almost dark, and even though the trip from Oldale to Littleroot was a short one, it was also very dangerous.

"C'mon mom, we're almost there." Jordan pleaded to a very worn out, precautious mother. "Don't even get me started young man. It's almost dark and very dangerous out there. We'll stay at this inn then leave early tomorrow morning."

Holy cow. that story looked a lot shorter on my iPod, but i finally managed to get it done. please comment as I wont post the next chapter until i get at least one, cause i think the next one is longer ...
 
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The characterization isn't bad. Nice to see such a long chapter already. Your descriptions are pretty good as well.

Why are they walking the whole way? Yeah, everyone walks in the video games, but I always thought that was just because they were kids. Plenty of people in the anime have cars. If you have another reason for doing it that way, add some sort of explanation for it.
 
nice story, i'm about to do one on hoenn too. is it going to be a gym story, because i really don't want to copy your idea since you posted first.
 
You got a few grammar issues which I'll point out later, but other then that, pretty decent start. I just ask that you don't make this a typical "Trainer goes and battles the Gym Leaders while defeating an evil organization bent on ruling the world; with or without the help of some ancient legendary Pokemon".
 
The characterization isn't bad. Nice to see such a long chapter already. Your descriptions are pretty good as well.

Why are they walking the whole way? Yeah, everyone walks in the video games, but I always thought that was just because they were kids. Plenty of people in the anime have cars. If you have another reason for doing it that way, add some sort of explanation for it.

thanks. i have them walking the whole way: A: for those who arent that familiar with Hoenn can learn about it a bit. B: So you can get to know Jordan a bit better. and C: I didnt think about it until reading another story on a different website about driving cars, but then i thought "the moms paranoid, so i wont give them a car for fear of wrecks"

Pikamaster said:
You got a few grammar issues which I'll point out later, but other then that, pretty decent start. I just ask that you don't make this a typical "Trainer goes and battles the Gym Leaders while defeating an evil organization bent on ruling the world; with or without the help of some ancient legendary Pokemon".

thanks to you too. sorry about the grammer but im just trying to get this up fast for now, but feel free to correct me and ill change it when i get the chance. for your second statement, itll kinda be like that (facing gym leaders and such) and yes there will a criminal (but really a criminal organization) but im not planning on the main characters getting many legendary pokemon (maybe 1-2, but other, not super important characters will get the majority). but hey, cant please everybody. sorry if you dont like it :frown:

ashinto said:
nice story, i'm about to do one on hoenn too. is it going to be a gym story, because i really don't want to copy your idea since you posted first.

thanks for your concern, but i dont care if you do some of the same things that i do, as long as you dont have the same storyline or similar.

thanks for your comments, ill put the second and third chapters now.
 
ok man, just wanted you to know so no one goes out and starts flaming me for it (it should come out sometime next week or the week after, i'm working w/ a guy now on it).
 
Chapter 2:
Disappointing Trip times two

Authors Note: you've probably already guessed part of what's going to happen in this next chapter, but read it anyway

[DISCLAIMER]

"Sir! Mt. Chimney's about to explode! What do I do!?!"

The Scientist calmly stated, "Prepare the helicopter."
_______________________________
6:14AM

Mom, mom! Wake up, it's time to go!" Jordan was extremely exited about getting his first Pokemon today, and woke at six to get ready.

"Mmmmmm..." his mom moaned, slowly drifting back to reality. "I'll be up in a sec." A sec ended up as being five minutes. She finally got up however, and ended up taking another twenty minutes in the shower. At about 7:30 they where finally ready to go.

"To the south!" Jordan stated as they left the small inn. "I'm getting my first Pokemon today!" Jordan happily said to everyone he saw.

After almost an hour of walking, jumping over small ledges, and the occasional Pokemon sighting, Jordan and his mom entered Littleroot.

"I see it! I see it! " Jordan exclaimed when the Pokemon Lab was in sight. He dashed off leaving his mom to wonder if leaving him to travel alone was a good idea.

Mrs. McAwn entered the lab and was surprised to see Jordan looking down at his feet with small tears glistening down his cheeks. -He usually doesn't cry like this, he's usually a pretty serious guy, I wonder what's wrong?-

"What's wrong honey?" his mom asked, kneeling down to be on her child's level.

"They don't *sniff* have any more *sniff* TORCHICKS!!!" and at that, Jordan started wailing. Wailing like a cat, wailing like a wail(mer) stuck in well, wailing like a... And on and on.

"Well, aren't there any other Pokemon you might like?"

"I-I don't n-know, I didn't l-look." he stopped wailing, but was still sniffling between every other few words.

"Well, if you wait a couple of weeks we'll have a few more hatching." Professor Birch awkwardly interjected. "I don't wanna wait THAT long."

"So honey, why don't you look around at the others?"

"... Fine." Jordan followed the professor through a back door into a little field with a few trees and a small pond. A bunch of Pokemon were roaming around, but there weren't any Torchicks.

"I have a Cyndaquil if you want a-" the professor was suddenly cut off by Jordan's exclamation of "This one! I want this one!" Jordan picked up a small blue Pokemon that sort of resembled a cat. It had three orange whiskers on each side of its head, and it had a light blue fin on its head. Its tail was also a light blue fin. "Wow. That was fast." Mrs. McAwn said as Prof. Birch went over and put the Mudkip in a pokeball.
•••••••••••••••••••••••
"Can I go alone now?" Jordan asked his mom as they entered Oldale. His mom had insisted that she walks with him for a little bit, and had absolutely refused to let them go without repellent.

"*sigh*. Fine." his mom said. "Go, Swellow!" the blue bird Pokemon came out of its pokeball in a flash of white light. "I need you to fly me home now OK?" Swellow nodded, Mrs. McAwn sat on, and they flew off north towards Fallarbor.

"Finally. Come on out Mudkip!" another flash of white and the little blue Pokemon was sitting in front of Jordan. "Hi Mudkip! I'm Jordan, your new trainer. Mudkip smiled and jumped up and down. "I need you to stay out here for a second while go in here for a few last minute supplies. Jordan walked into the Pokemart leaving Mudkip to sit by the entrance.

"-First he says 'wait for a second', then he says 'last minute'? I'm very confused.-" Mudkip thought.

Meanwhile, Jordan having a heated discussion with the manager. "Potions should NOT
be this pricey. 300 Pokè for an item that only heals 20 damage! This should be sold for at LEAST 200, maybe 250!"

"Look, take this and get out, you're causing a scene." the clerk handed over five potions and Jordan walked out with five free potions. Not what he expected, but hey, it worked.

"Kip! Mudkip!" Mudkip was excited to see Jordan again. Just as he said that, a girl that could be no older than Jordan ran around the side of the Pokemart and into Jordan. "Oh! Hi, sorry, I didn't see you there." she blushed slightly and ran into the Pokemart. "Well, that hurt slightly." Jordan stated, got up, and started walking west toward the route that would take him to Petalburg.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Waah!" Jordan shouted as a Poochyena walked out in front of him. "Well, I guess it's wild, so I mind as well catch it. Mudkip! Come on out!" the little blue Pokemon appeared and, seeing the Poochyena, got in a battle stance. The Poochyena however, fled. "Darn it. I really wanted one of those." when Mudkip heard this, it ran of in pursuit of the Pokemon. "No! Wait! Mudkip, come back!" When Jordan finally found Mudkip, it was standing triumphantly by the now unconscious Poochyena.

"Well, no point in just leaving it here." Jordan reached into his small pack and pulled out a regular Pokeball and threw it at the Poochyena. The Pokemon was sucked inside when it hit. He ball shook a few times as the Pokemon struggled to get out, but then, click! The ball locked shut and the Poochyena was trapped inside. "Sweet! I caught a Poochyena! Thanks for your help Mudkip!" Mudkip nodded and smiled.

"Excuse me! Look out! Argh!" the same girl that ran into Jordan at Pokemart now ran into him again. "You again?" Jordan asked, more than slightly annoyed that he was knocked over again. "Sorry! It won- hey, your the guy from the Pokemart!"

"Glad you noticed."

"Look, I'm sorry. Why is a guy your age out here anyways? Are you a Pokemon trainer?"

"Just started today." Jordan said picking himself up from off the ground. "Oh! Good! That means you know my dad, Professor Birch right?" without giving Jordan a chance to answer, the girl continued, "OK, well my dad needs some help with his research on Pokemon, will you help?"

-Holy Cow, this girl talks faster than an auctioneer- "I don-"

"Great! Here you go! By the way, what's your name? I'm Megan." -Should I tell her? She seems kinda weird…- Jordan thought after taking the device that Megan was holding out to him. "Uhh, my name's Jordan. And what is this thing?"

"Hi Jordan! That's a Pokedex. It stores information and Pokemon and can even tell you the level, stats, and other things on Pokemon, yours or not. Bye!" she ran off without another word. -What a strange person.-
•••••••••••••••••••••••
MEGAN
-Hmm, he's kinda cute-- Argh! What would Kyo think if he heard that?- after thinking that, Megan blushed, as she remembered her karate boyfriend that went ahead to the desert to train.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed as she saw a blue blur flash through the grass ahead of her. When she looked to investigate however, all she found where frozen footprints.

AUTHORS NOTES:
Bet you didn't guess that the second disappointment was for the Poochyena (it was a trip because he was going to the waterhole on his own for the first time.)

Back to back posts merged. The following information has been added:


[DISCLAIMER]

Chapter: 3
The other side of the story

MEGAN
6 AM previous day
"Gosh, those Poochyena are everywhere! Rrr, I really need to stop talking to my-- ARGH!" Megan is standing just north of Oldale and is studying the Pokemon there for Professor Birch, her dad. She still hasn't lost her habit of talking to herself yet, though she's tried fruitlessly many times.

"Alright Torchic! Come on out!" the little orange chicken Pokemon appeared. "Now! I want you to use Scratch on that Poochyena right there!" the Torchic ran at the indicated Poochyena and slashed at it with its claws. The Poochyena yelped in surprise and then ran into Torchic with its Tackle attack. -Heh, guess that was kinda rude, sneaking up on it like that...-

"Torchic again, Scratch!" Torchic complied, again running at the Poochyena and raking it with its claws. The Poochyena was looking pretty tired by then and in its last desperate attempt to knock out the Torchic, it howled, raising its attack. It then ran forward and bashed Torchic with its head. Torchic went sprawling and was almost KO'd. It then scratched Poochyena on its own accord, and then fainting.

"Torchic!" Megan exclaimed, picking up her starter Pokemon. She dashed into Oldale, turned a corner, and BAM! Ran straight into Jordan.

"Oh hi! Sorry, I didn't see you there!" she said blushing and ran into the pokemart. "Oops! Wrong building!" she said nervously as the few costumers in there turned in surprise at Megan dashing into the mart. She ran out and ran as fast as she could to get to the pokecenter.

DINGLY-DINGLY! went the bell on the door as Megan sled into the center. "I need my Torchic healed pronto!" the nurse shot a look at Megan and turned to help someone that just came in carrying a knocked out Wurmple. "Please?" Megan said. The nurse sighed and turned to Megan after telling the man where to go. "That's better." she said and took Torchic and put it onto the Pokemon-not-in-a-pokeball machine and turned it on. Megan sat down on a couch and looked at the TV to see if anything interesting was on. There was a Pokemon battle going on between someone and Glacia of the Elite 4. "Ma'am, your Pokemon is healed." the nurse said getting Megan's attention. She walked over, picked up her now smiling Torchic ant thanked the nurse. She was about to walk out the door when she suddenly heard, "We're sorry to interrupt this program, but an announcement has to be made. She turned and saw a news anchor sitting at a table. In the top right corner of the screen there was a picture of a man looking like he really wanted to blow up the earth or something. "This man is Leo DmAccio, a criminal and master of disguise. He has recently escaped from custody and we ask you all to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Thank you, we will now return you to your program. When the battle came back on, the challenger was slowly walking away and Glacia was smiling joyfully. A few people grumbled about not getting to see the end of the battle and how the police should be more responsible, then left.

After that, Megan decided it was time to move on because she had studied the path above Oldale for a while now. It was then that she ran into Jordan. Again. They talked and Megan handed him the Pokedex.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
"Gosh, I wonder what that was?" Megan said to herself after seeing the blue dash and the ice-prints. "Grrrrrr!"

"Eeeeeeee!" Megan the the growls and screams of a Pokemon and ran towards them. A Poochyena, dark type, was menacingly approaching a Ralts, psychic type (dark is super effective against psychic). -Oh no! The poor Ralts!- Megan thought as she grabbed a pokeball from her belt. She threw it at the ground "Go Torchic!" but nothing happened. Except that the pokeball bounced and hit the Ralts sucking it inside. -Heh, guessed that one wasn't Torchics…- The ball clicked shut with out a struggle as the Ralts didn't care what happened to it as long as it wasn't looking at the Poochyena. "Well, that was easy."
_______________________________
JORDAN
"*Sigh*, I'll never be able to catch a Lotad." Jordan had attempted, and failed, to catch a Lotad for the third time bringing him down to only four pokeballs and two Great balls. To his annoyance however, the Lotad seemed to stop caring about being caught and was now laughing at him. "Grrr, I'll get that little booger if it's the last thing I do."

Authors notes: i know its the shortest chapter so far, but i felt it be good to have it in there just to get a little background on Megan (obviously taking place of May in the anime, but will be playing an entirely different role IE. not traveling with Jordan. not really going to fight him either unlike the games)
 
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Start a new line when a different person is speaking.

For example:

"Blah blah blah" Person A said. "Blah blah blah" Person B said.

isn't correct. It should be:

"Blah blah blah" Person A said.

"Blah blah blah" Person B said.

(Yeah, I know, I should bother to think up a proper example.)

Sorry to be a jerk, but it's a lot easier to read when you do it right.

BTW, why are you using asterisks instead of spaces? Fix that too.
 
sorry about some things, just copy/pasted from my ipods notes to the safari browser so i wasn't spending an hour retyping them. thanks for you help, ill get to fixing them immediately. alright, think i got em all. thanks for pointing them out. ill post the next chapter after i get a few more responses. sorry for the long paragraphs btw. im not known by anyone for using good paragraphing/enough periods. :biggrin:
 
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Wow, missed this, time for the correction.

Thanks to you too. Sorry about the grammar, but I'm just trying to get this up fast for now, but feel free to correct me and I'll change it when I get the chance. for your second statement, it'll kinda be like that (facing gym leaders and such), and yes, there will a criminal (but really a criminal organization), but I'm not planning on the main characters getting many legendary pokemon (maybe 1-2, but other, not super important characters will get the majority). But hey, can't please everybody. ,sorry if you don't like it :frown

All the corrections are bolded. And I just don't want this to be like one of the video games. (New trainer starts, battles GLs, interferes with evil group who's trying to take over the world by harnessing the power of an ancient sleeping Pokemon, etc.)

"Mmmmmm..." his mom moaned, slowly drifting back to reality. "I'll be up in a sec."

A sec ended up as being five minutes.
(New line) She finally got up however, and ended up taking another twenty minutes in the shower. At about 7:30 they where finally ready to go.


"I see it! I see it! " Jordan exclaimed when the Pokemon Lab was in sight. He dashed off, (comma here) leaving his mom to wonder if leaving him to travel alone was a good idea.

Mrs. McAwn entered the lab, (comma here) and was surprised to see Jordan looking down at his feet with small tears glistening down his cheeks.

"Well, if you wait a couple of weeks we'll have a few more hatching." Professor Birch awkwardly interjected.

"I don't wanna wait THAT long."
(It's someone else talking, new line)

"So honey, why don't you look around at the others?"

"... Fine." Jordan followed the professor through a back door into a little field with a few trees and a small pond; (I'd use a semicolon here, bunch of Pokemon were roaming around, but there weren't any Torchicks.

"I have a Cyndaquil if you want a-" the professor was suddenly cut off by Jordan's exclamation of "This one! I want this one!" Jordan picked up a small blue Pokemon that sort of resembled a cat. It had three orange whiskers on each side of its head, and it had a light blue fin on its head;(Another place a semi colon can be used) its tail was also a light blue fin.

"Wow. That was fast." (New line)Mrs. McAwn said as Prof. Birch went over and put the Mudkip in a pokeball.


"Can I go alone now?" Jordan asked his mom as they entered Oldale. His mom had insisted that she walks with him for a little bit, and had absolutely refused to let them go without repellent.

"*sigh*. Fine." his mom said.
(Usually you don't put "sigh" into dialogue, try something like "his mom sighed")

"Finally. Come on out Mudkip!" another flash of white and the little blue Pokemon was sitting in front of Jordan. "Hi Mudkip! I'm Jordan, your new trainer;(Try learning about the wonderful uses of semi colons) Mudkip smiled and jumped up and down.




"Well, no point in just leaving it here." Jordan reached into his small pack and pulled out a regular Pokeball and threw it at the Poochyena. The Pokemon was sucked inside when it hit. The ball shook a few times as the Pokemon struggled to get out, but then, click!


Well, that's all I was able to get done tonight. I don't claim to be an expert on grammar, so there may be stuff that I missed, or something was incorrectly "fixed", but it's the best that I can do. What I suggest you do is borrow or buy a copy of "Eats, shoots and leaves.", it's an excellent grammar book. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eats,_shoots_and_leaves

And for the love of everything that is good, PLEASE spell "Torchic" correctly.
 
Oh gosh. Sorry guys, but this story is officialy over. Finaly got around to uploading the next five or so chapters from my iPod to my computer and fixed all the grammatical errors when BOOM! were outa the house and lightning strikes. Literally. All the data was pretty much destroyed, and I had deleted the story from my iPod. So now I'm just gonna start writing shorts. However, if someone else wants to take over fine by me, just PM me and I'll give you the plot. First shorty almost done, it should be up later today...

PS sorry about the Torchic-Torchick error, I'm not gonna claim to be a pokemon name spelling expert.
 
Wow man, that sucks. Sorry to hear that, though maybe you'll do it later, there's nothing like a second draft. ;)
 
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