The Begaining Of Gengar

[Xuii2-the-cleric]

Okay this is my story of the beginning of Gengar

Prologue

There once was a trainer named Nate. Nate was a tall, lanky boy about 14, with dark as the midnight sky black hair. He also had eyes that would change color depending on his mood. Dark red when he was angry, light blue when he was happy, brown when he was scared, dark blue when he was calmed relaxed, and hazel when he was in love. His parents died on his 16th birthday. He inherited a mansion from his rich parents, but hated to show off so he abandoned it. He fell in love and married to a beautiful girl, with black hair also and had a son. He went off on a journey to get Pokémon for his son, and never came back leaving the mother with his Arcanine and his son. Some say he went back to his mansion and died but what really happened was his mansion was set on fire, well he was sleeping, by Team Rocket. His soul was not burned in the fire; it became a ghost. No one dared entered the mansion for 10 years until one day…

 

[ashinto]

looks good so far, good luck

 

[prodigal_fanboy]

This time, with proper spelling and grammar:

The Beginning Of Gengar

Okay, this is my story of the beginning of Gengar.

Prologue

There once was a trainer named Nate. Nate was a tall, lanky boy of about 14, with black hair as dark as the midnight sky. He also had eyes that would change color depending on his mood: (not sure if colon precedes a list separated by semi-colons) dark red when he was angry; light blue when he was happy; brown when he was scared; dark blue when he was calm and relaxed; hazel when he was in love. His parents died on his 16th birthday. He inherited a mansion from his rich parents, but hated to show off, so he abandoned it. He fell in love, married a beautiful girl with black hair, and had a son. He went off on a journey to get Pokémon for his son, and came back, leaving the mother and his son with his Arcanine. Some say he went back to his mansion and died, but what really happened was that his mansion was set on fire by Team Rocket while he was sleeping. His soul was not burned in the fire; it became a ghost. No one dared to enter [the mansion] for ten years until one day…

I started out underlining corrections but gave up for the sake of time.

 

[C-U elite]

I better be in this if nate gets to!
Otherwise good start

 

[thepliskin5005]

what a great great story how does his hair and eyes change colors and im still trying to make sense of this story?

 

[Xuii2-the-cleric]

eyes change color not hair
ya hardy ill try to get u in there
this hasnt been proff read yet so sorry

 

[David's Confused Pokedad]

Very good opener, man. Great. I'll be looking forward to more. David out.

 

[espeon1]

Hey why did you put my name in there? And you killed me!

 

[Xuii2-the-cleric]

its my middle mane not just your name
u died cuz u became gengar

 

[David's Confused Pokedad]

Ok this is my story of the beginning of Gengar.

Prologue

There once was a trainer named Nate. Nate was a tall, lanky boy about 14, with dark-as-the-midnight-sky black hair. He also had eyes that would change color depending on his mood. Dark red when he was angry, light blue when he was happy, brown when he was scared, dark blue when he was calmed relaxed, and hazel when he was in love. His parents died on his 16th birthday. He inherited a mansion from his rich parents, but hated to show off so he abandoned it. He fell in love and married a beautiful girl, with black hair also and had a son. He went off on a journey to get Pokémon for his son, and came back leaving the mother with his Arcanine and his son. Some say he went back to his mansion and died but, what really happened was his mansion was set on fire, well he was sleeping, by Team Rocket. His soul was not burned in the fire. It became a ghost. No one dared entered for 10 years until one day…

Improvements are bolded.

 

[prodigal_fanboy]

DCP: I beat you to it.

 

[Xuii2-the-cleric]

thanx david
klxfgsdjlkgv

 

[David's Confused Pokedad]

I'll do it for him. He asked me. This way, you don't need to. Fair?

David out.

 

[Xuii2-the-cleric]

you can both help
if you want to

Back to back posts merged. The following information has been added:

chapter one will be up today or tomorrow

 

[David's Confused Pokedad]

I guess. It's not a problem with anyone. David out.