Canadian West Regionals -1st Place Masters
WORLD WIDE POKEMON CHAMPION BREAKS THE FORMAT
OK, let me start off by saying this deck is only playable by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a deck to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this deck would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to be played by some Abercrombie & Fitch nancy boy. It wasn’t meant to come along with you to Linens and Things or Yoga class. No, that’s what Luxchomp is for. If you’re into that type of deck, then do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This deck was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like Claydol draw power (real men don't need claydol). Real men don’t even know what a luxchomp list looks like.
No, this brute deck comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. My sleeves have special blood/gore resistant protection for when tables get flipped. The deck even comes with a first-aid kit. You know what the kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself when things get crazy.
This deck was right by my side when I was being chased by Libyan terrorists. It's saved my bacon more than once. It can also be used as a tow hitch for your 50 caliber anti-taliban, self cooling machine gun.
I even take it with me on my way to the gym to blast my pecs and hammer my glutes, along with the four hotties I just picked up. Don’t try running this deck without my permission or consent. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Heck ya. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Cold Play concert anymore.
This 60 card hellcat from Planet kick butt will outlive you and the offspring that carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or base jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you and we’ll discuss strategy while listening to Johnny Cash.
Time to bust every sucka and take down the entire tournament and win and show that Gostop is the best and can beat anyone at anytime.
Pokemon x23
4x Mankey
4x Primeape
4x Chatot g
1x Uxie
1x azelf
1x Mewtwo
1x Mewtwo lv.x
2x Crobat g
2x luxray
2x luxray lv.x
1x Relicanth
Trainers x 25
3x Roseanne’s Research
3x Bebe’s Search
2x Expert Belt
4x Poke turn
2x Pokemon Communicator
1x Luxury ball
1x Night maitenence
2x Pokemon Reversal
2x Team Galactics Wager
4x Poke Drawer
1x Looker's investigation
Energy x12
4x Double colorless energy
2x Cyclone Energy
4x Fighting Energy
1x Lightning Energy
1x Psychic Energy
ROUND 1 vs Derek- Jumpluff 1-0
I START WITH MY SIGNATURE HAND. It makes my heart leap with glee! This turns out to be a crazy game, I feel like I’m in a mental institution! I hit home runs with hoppips, good game.
Round 2 vs Janet- Machamp 2-0
Gostop is the best at beating women. Well I don’t mean like that. Gostop beats women at pokemon. Get out of here female! I discard one of her machamp’s to knock out her active machamp and its game after that.
Round 3 vs Eric - Luxchomp 3-0
Gostop fears nobody. All I fear is hurting myself after playing against this disastrous deck because it’s horrible.
Round 4 vs Samantha- Jumpluff 4-0
Gostop only enjoys the company of women and if anyone says otherwise, well… then they misinterpreted. Some women have short hair. She was too busy thinking about purses or sparkly unicorns, this game was mine from the start.
Round 5 vs Landon- Gengar 5-0
BOOP! BOOP! Gostop gets his signature hand yet again.
Round 6 vs Andrew- Luxchomp 6-0
He mine as well have been a corpse artist because he was drawing dead. Got a mewtwo lv.x and he couldn’t counter.
Top 8 vs James- Luxchomp 7-0
He concedes both games after seeing my mewtwo lv.x in my deck. It helped reduce the emotional bad beat that he suffered.
Top 4 vs Dexter Luxchomp 8-0
Dexter went on tilt from the sheer presence of my being. He made some huge misplays which cost him both games.
Top 2 vs Richard- Luxchomp 9-0
WHAT A SURPRISE, GOSTOP AT ANOTHER FINAL TABLE YET AGAIN.
Some say my playstyle is similar to poetry in motion, so I decided to write a poem instead.
Gostop is gonna make a stand right here you pathetic donkeys. HOLLA! BLING! SOMETHING! Gostop is gonna defend his title with dignity and grace. Gostop AINT GOING OUT IN LAST PLACE. YAAAH GET UP OUT OF YOUR SEAT. ILL PULL YOUR HAIR, THROW YOUR CARDS ON THE FLOOR.
I 2-0 him for the tourney, FLIP THE TABLE and bring home the mucho deniro.
If you learn anything from this tournament report; first of all Gostop is the master of every game and don’t play luxchomp because you’ll just want to hurt yourself and want to hurt others.
ROCK ON.
WORLD WIDE POKEMON CHAMPION BREAKS THE FORMAT
OK, let me start off by saying this deck is only playable by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a deck to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this deck would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to be played by some Abercrombie & Fitch nancy boy. It wasn’t meant to come along with you to Linens and Things or Yoga class. No, that’s what Luxchomp is for. If you’re into that type of deck, then do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This deck was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like Claydol draw power (real men don't need claydol). Real men don’t even know what a luxchomp list looks like.
No, this brute deck comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. My sleeves have special blood/gore resistant protection for when tables get flipped. The deck even comes with a first-aid kit. You know what the kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself when things get crazy.
This deck was right by my side when I was being chased by Libyan terrorists. It's saved my bacon more than once. It can also be used as a tow hitch for your 50 caliber anti-taliban, self cooling machine gun.
I even take it with me on my way to the gym to blast my pecs and hammer my glutes, along with the four hotties I just picked up. Don’t try running this deck without my permission or consent. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Heck ya. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Cold Play concert anymore.
This 60 card hellcat from Planet kick butt will outlive you and the offspring that carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or base jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you and we’ll discuss strategy while listening to Johnny Cash.
Time to bust every sucka and take down the entire tournament and win and show that Gostop is the best and can beat anyone at anytime.
Pokemon x23
4x Mankey
4x Primeape
4x Chatot g
1x Uxie
1x azelf
1x Mewtwo
1x Mewtwo lv.x
2x Crobat g
2x luxray
2x luxray lv.x
1x Relicanth
Trainers x 25
3x Roseanne’s Research
3x Bebe’s Search
2x Expert Belt
4x Poke turn
2x Pokemon Communicator
1x Luxury ball
1x Night maitenence
2x Pokemon Reversal
2x Team Galactics Wager
4x Poke Drawer
1x Looker's investigation
Energy x12
4x Double colorless energy
2x Cyclone Energy
4x Fighting Energy
1x Lightning Energy
1x Psychic Energy
ROUND 1 vs Derek- Jumpluff 1-0
I START WITH MY SIGNATURE HAND. It makes my heart leap with glee! This turns out to be a crazy game, I feel like I’m in a mental institution! I hit home runs with hoppips, good game.
Round 2 vs Janet- Machamp 2-0
Gostop is the best at beating women. Well I don’t mean like that. Gostop beats women at pokemon. Get out of here female! I discard one of her machamp’s to knock out her active machamp and its game after that.
Round 3 vs Eric - Luxchomp 3-0
Gostop fears nobody. All I fear is hurting myself after playing against this disastrous deck because it’s horrible.
Round 4 vs Samantha- Jumpluff 4-0
Gostop only enjoys the company of women and if anyone says otherwise, well… then they misinterpreted. Some women have short hair. She was too busy thinking about purses or sparkly unicorns, this game was mine from the start.
Round 5 vs Landon- Gengar 5-0
BOOP! BOOP! Gostop gets his signature hand yet again.
Round 6 vs Andrew- Luxchomp 6-0
He mine as well have been a corpse artist because he was drawing dead. Got a mewtwo lv.x and he couldn’t counter.
Top 8 vs James- Luxchomp 7-0
He concedes both games after seeing my mewtwo lv.x in my deck. It helped reduce the emotional bad beat that he suffered.
Top 4 vs Dexter Luxchomp 8-0
Dexter went on tilt from the sheer presence of my being. He made some huge misplays which cost him both games.
Top 2 vs Richard- Luxchomp 9-0
WHAT A SURPRISE, GOSTOP AT ANOTHER FINAL TABLE YET AGAIN.
Some say my playstyle is similar to poetry in motion, so I decided to write a poem instead.
Gostop is gonna make a stand right here you pathetic donkeys. HOLLA! BLING! SOMETHING! Gostop is gonna defend his title with dignity and grace. Gostop AINT GOING OUT IN LAST PLACE. YAAAH GET UP OUT OF YOUR SEAT. ILL PULL YOUR HAIR, THROW YOUR CARDS ON THE FLOOR.
I 2-0 him for the tourney, FLIP THE TABLE and bring home the mucho deniro.
If you learn anything from this tournament report; first of all Gostop is the master of every game and don’t play luxchomp because you’ll just want to hurt yourself and want to hurt others.
ROCK ON.
disclaimer: not a serious report
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