Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

Trapped

A

Ancient Pokemon Trainer

New Member
The screech of it...The horror of it...The deadness of it...

Haunter use Shadow Ball!Now Snorlax Overheat!Nice our First BADGE!
Yes indeed you have earned it Rai.My ghost pokemon didn't stand a chance here I present you the Shadow Badge.The next gym is in Hirowl City you can battle Chin for the Draw Badge.
Thank you Reslly, yes my first badge YAY!

Roock I'm back how's the egg has it hatchhed?Hmm Krill finally here huh?Yes apparently so now have you gotten that call from Giovanne?!Patience Krill you know the boss takes his time currently tampering with his next device on the brurning Charizard.Well then what about the status on the egg?Just very slight movements now and then over a week about to go...Ugh well I'll be checking out Hirowl City there maybe some pokemon to poch there and more inportantly find out the info on this Rai.Good day Roock...

Haunter Snorlax you did great.It seems the next gym you need 4 pokemon this will be tough a water/Ground gym leader...I need one more pokemon where should I look.I heard theres a short cut to Hirowl City through Chinwhy Forest maybe wee'l find a pokemon or two there...Well Let's GO!
Haunter Haunt!
...Wo look it's a Golduck okay your up Shellgon!Use Fire Blast!
Golduck GGGGGGOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!
Ahh watch out Shelgon it used Psychic it's coming back at you!
SSHHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLGOn!
Don't worry Shelgon use Dragonbreath!
SHELGON!
Gol Gol Duck!
Now Take Down!
Golduck gowwll...
Go Great Ball!
beep.....beep....dung!
Yay We caught a Golduck!
Well theres the exit of the forest and I got my satisfaction.

...!What is it?I heard the voice again...The screech.No not now.It's year 2080.It shouldn't be for almost another 1000 years!Just get the paper see what it says we have NO TIME!Well it says Rai.In red...Ov course another cocky trainer.Where's Omaster, Cradily, Kabutops, Gardevoir, Blaziken and Swampert?Up in the cave room but why would you...No don't do it...I HAVE NO CHOICE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!Don't do it...Yes it doen't matter if it risks unleashing the egg, I can't feep it inside me any longer!I must unleash the trainer inside me.It's TO LATE SORRY LITCHUUNG BUT YOUR GETTING IN MY WAY GOODBYE HAHAHAHAHA GARDEVOIR NO I MEEN GODEVOIR SEND HIM TO THE HEAVENS DARK BLOOM!AAAAAAHHHHH no dddonn'ttt...Now it's time for the next step...The Chill Emblem...

Okay hope it is interesting thanks for taking your time to look at it. ;)
 
Aha this must be the most stupidist ever any opinions do I get a title?

Chap2 They Meet

"Haunter this city is humoungas don't you think?""Haunt Haunt!""Man how are we going to find the gym is this city maybe someone knows..." "Umm excuse me Mr. but do you know where the gym is?" "Dam kids have know idea of what RESPECT is, get lost before you get hurt..." "Excuse me but what were you muttering?" "You herd me!"
"Dang that old man was sure grumpy don't you think Haunter?""Haunt er...""Oh there's a hotell maybe we can check in and find out where the gym is and stay a night I meen there are a lot of places to shop.""Umm excuse me would you happen to know where the gym is?""Yes exactly 1 block from here north."'Thank you wee'l be back soon."


"Humph....""How much longer do I have to stay in this awfull costume...""Ugh the suspence is killing me say that Haunter seemed to know something about me well then is it possible that that was the trainer?...""No... yes yes this could be getting somewhere..."


"Well the boss called.""Well what did he say?""WE move in have to get there before Magma.""Of course, gather the crew Casidy and Butch to they could be bait...""Hehe this aut to be fun...""Remember the egg must not be stolen no matter WHAT!""Don't think I'm stupid Krill it won't happen.""Good"

"Dgeott PIDGEOTT!""Well hello there I geuss I'm dead from that person who I thought was a friend..."He must be stoppped is there a way to help him?""Pidgeott?""Rai the one..."Pidgeott!""You can how?!"Pidgeott dgeott!""Send him a pokemon, a Charmander?...""I geuss that works..." "hmmm".............



I know it's short but a glance would be fine.
 
First I would like to suggest you seperate your sentences more. My using paragraph breaks tell us who is speaking. Even if it is a pokemon.

Now I think this could be a story that can go somewhere but try to really but background into your characters and/or more specific illustraion to the scenes you are describing.

Storyline seems to have potienal and good flavor.
 
I liked it, but with no "Haunter, use Shadow Ball now!" I get really confused. Other then that, it could go somewhere. (And you said I was better than you Ancient PKMN Trainer! How wrong you were.)
 
Chapter 3 Rage

The twosome came back with hopes down from seeing the gym closed...



"Hmmm..."

"Haunter..."

"I geuss wee'd better get back to the hotel Haunter wee'l ckeck the gym tommorow 1st thing after breakfest okay?!"

"Haunter!"

"OH MY GOD!Haunter look is that a Charmander?!It looks like something is chasing it a gang of things!We have to help it come on Haunter!"

"Haunter!!"

"Char Char!!!Chaaaar!Thump!chhaaarrrrr...

"HAHA!Well know looks like you didn't get away huh?Now your mine for the taking AHAHAHAHA!Kabuchopper finish him off Dark Slash!"

"Kabu...KABUTOPS!TOPS, TOPS, TOPS, TTTTTTOOOOOPPPPPSSSS!"

"Char, Char, Char, Char, Chhhhhhaaaaaaarrrrrrr!THUMP thump thump thump!"

"HAHA!Time to snag!Go Nest Ball!"

"HEY you stop it right now!"

"Haunter Haunt!"

"Huh...Oh well hello gentalman how nice is it to see you today!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Now I get double the pleasure perhaps you should to be sent to the heavens!HAHA!While I take what belongs to ME! Or you could just run away begging for mercuy..."

"HUK!It's him Haunter, the old man!Never the less were to stop you right NOW!"

"Oh so?You and what gang?Plus this is a wild pokemon I saw it first!It should be allowed for me to take!So watch going to do?"

"We already said we are going to stop you right now!You'r tourtaring it!It's not fair!Plus I saw it running from the begining it was by a hotel it could have been waiting for someone!You didn't actualy see it in thw wild!So go Haunter and Blaziken NOW!"

"Blaze Blaze!"

"HAUNT HAUNT!"

"HAH!You want to battle me?Okay it would be my plessure!Go Kabuchopper and Staromine!"

"Tops!"

"Omastar, star!"

"Omastar Hydro Cannon Now!"
"Blaziken!!!!!!!"
"Blaziken you can take it okay now Sky Upercut on Omastar!"
"Blaziken!"
"Omastar dodge!"
"STAR!"
"Kabuchopper use Lightning Slash!"
"TOPS!"
"Haunter dodge!"
"Haunt!"
"Haunter Shadow Ball now on Kabutops!"
"HAUNTER!"
"Tops!"
"Huh?"
"Haha!You'l have to do better then that Kabutops is obe of my fastest pokemon!Now Fire Strike!"
"Tops!"
"Haunter!"
"Don't faint use Hypnosis on bolth of em now!"
"Kabutchopper Dig now!"
"Oma! star...zzzzzzzzzzzzz"
"Okay Haunter Dream Eater on Omastar now!"
"Haunter!Haauuuanter!"
"OMASTAR ohhh may..."
"Return go Swampy!"
"Earthquake knock everybody out while Kabuchopper jumps!Oh while you'r at it knock out the cocky trainer I don't want this battle any olnger then the 10 minutes that have gone by!"
"BLAZIKEN!"
"Uff...ugh...no streength cccan't makeitpokeeballGardevoirhelp..."
"Haunter?"
"Hauntterlook beehinndd yyouu..."
"Haunter?HAUNTER!"
"HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!!!"

"AAH WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME I'M DISSOLVING AAAAAAHHHHH SOMEONE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Char..."

"Haunter..."

Hehe cut a little off thought it would be a better ending this way...Hop you like!
 
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Chapter 4 Awakening

Haunter floated in a corner facing the wall.Charmander let out a sigh and watched the results...

"Char..."

"huh...?Where the..."

"Haunter!"

"Char Char!Charmander pleated as it ran out the door."

"Haunter Haunter HAUNT!"

"Ahhh.Haunter stop licking me that tickles!Where am I anyways?"

"Ah good to see your up Rai.Youv'e been uncouncis for about 6 1/2 hours now and your Haunter was in ?Rage and nearly destroyed a hotel and pokemart."

"eh?Can someone please tell me whats going on?"

"Oh sorry some police found you and this Charmander and of course your Haunter in an alley and took you here."

"Is that the Charmander from before?"

"Oh this fellow well turns out we could not find an owner we checked the whole city but no pokeballs work on it nor does it seem to be interested in anybody but you.Therefore the police have decided it's yours."

"But...That's strange I don't even remember this guy.Well anyways the more the marrier!"

"Charmander Char!"

"I'm geussing youre here for a gym battle but to early for that."

"huh at least I didn't have to pay the price for a hotel.hehe..."

"Well let's check out the city Haunter and Charmander!"

"Haunter!"

"Char!"

________________

"Yes...Yes YES!!!!!"

"huh?Rook what's going on...Ahhh!!"

"Well take a look yourself Krill.MMMMMMWWWWWWAHAHAHAHA!"

"No way the egg it's hatching...Get the scientests now I'll call the boss!"

___________________

"Yep...Look who's here..."

"huh?Who where?"

"Yah don't worry you turned good in the end after a punicment you'l have to go back down and help Rai.Pidgeott and I have decided...Ken..."

"Litchuung is that you?"

"Yes and get up now your in Heaven and we bolth wouldn't be if it weren't for YOU!"

"Now to your punishment..."

"Pidgeott!"



Yah it's short but the next one won't the first 4 were to get everything startitedish.
 
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