Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

Rocket's Master Plan-Comments Thread

yeah, sorry 'bout that type fluke, wasn't thinking right, I'm just gonna go with that she specially trained her skarmory after getting it beat by electrics so many times before, XD
 
um...bump? I've come back to working on my fanfic now, so please read it, people! You may want to read from the beginning in case you forgot what the storyline was so far after all this time. I'm just bumping this so people can still comment on the fic.
 
well, now I at least know I have one reader. Huzzah. Sunflorazumarill CLAIMS that he reads it, but he never posts in the comments thread...oh well.
Number of users required to post here in order for me to make the new chapter: 3-Shiftrymaster, so we need 2, but, since this is the first time I'm doing this, I'll count sunflor, so we need one more. When one more person posts here, you'll get your next chapter, once I write it.
 
Very dynamic, lot's of stuff happening but I can still understand it! Good job!

I am one of these 'kids from my school' I think I'm the only girl... o.0 Unless I'm wrong. Then I'm not the only girl...

Are you happy?
 
AreYouHappy said:
Very dynamic, lot's of stuff happening but I can still understand it! Good job!

I am one of these 'kids from my school' I think I'm the only girl... o.0 Unless I'm wrong. Then I'm not the only girl...

Are you happy?
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youre not the only girl, Jill and Lauren are evil. Both in real life and in the fanfic...o_O
 
assume X is the number of times I required people to post on this thread for me to make the next chapter.
X+2=number of people required to post(total) for the next chapter to be put up
X+1=number of people that have already posted here allowed to be included in the total, but they must post again.

Example: First time, X=1
3 total people required to post. 2 of those could have already been people who had posted before, but posting again.

Current time, X=2
4 people required to post for next chapter. 3 of those people can have posted before, but are posting again.
 
Well, I haven't been in the fic forum for months, but I think rules here haven't changed that much.

First off, you fic is a bit hard to read. Not that its verbose or its concepts are difficult to grasp, but your spacing is just horrendous. I haven't read any of it yet simply becase all the text is smashed together and almost impossible to differentiate (sp) without giving someone a headache. Take this excerpt below for instance:

From:

Chapter 7
Ignore Them!
---
"Waaah!" Ryan screamed, falling from the ceiling in the meeting room. Of all the places to teleport to when he used the teleportation device Giovanni gave him to get away from the rebellion base. He landed on the large oval shaped table, and luckily, noone was in that meeting room at the time. "Whew." He said, for he had not damaged any part of his body. "Now I better get out-" Suddenly, he heard voices coming from the meeting room next door. He walked up to the wall and put his ear to it, listening.
"So, Blaine, Team Rocket is now proceeding to capture Johto, are they not?" An unfamiliar voice came from the room.
"Indeed." Blaine replied. "They have already hypnotized the 6 other Kanto gym leaders, and believe I am on their side as well."
"Magnificent. Continue to lead them on with the plan. I will allow you to hypnotize 4 of the 8 Johto Gym Leaders. Take your picks now." The voice replied.
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Its a bit difficult to read for me. Remeber that each new line of speach constitutes a new paragraph. And, because indentation doesn't work on computers, you msut hit return twice to get the best spacing. here's the revised paragraph below.

from:

Chapter 7
Ignore Them!
---
"Waaah!" Ryan screamed, falling from the ceiling in the meeting room. Of all the places to teleport to when he used the teleportation device Giovanni gave him to get away from the rebellion base. He landed on the large oval shaped table, and luckily, noone was in that meeting room at the time.

"Whew." He said, for he had not damaged any part of his body. "Now I better get out-" Suddenly, he heard voices coming from the meeting room next door. He walked up to the wall and put his ear to it, listening.

"So, Blaine, Team Rocket is now proceeding to capture Johto, are they not?" An unfamiliar voice came from the room.

"Indeed." Blaine replied. "They have already hypnotized the 6 other Kanto gym leaders, and believe I am on their side as well."

"Magnificent. Continue to lead them on with the plan. I will allow you to hypnotize 4 of the 8 Johto Gym Leaders. Take your picks now." The voice replied.
Click to expand...

This is much easier to see AND read, as you don't have to squint to see the paragraph divisions and can more easily get the message of this short excerpt.

Also, you saw my other post in the CaC room. That's my other reason for why you're not getting many viewers. Don't feel too badly about this, though. I'm guessing this is your first fic and, as time goes by, you'll get better at this. If this gets more successful, I may import my really old (i.e. completed two years ago) fic to see what some old, long fiction would look like. The chapters range from three to twelve pages, single spaced in Microsoft Word.

Again, good luck with your fic and, hopefully, you'll take myu advice and make your fic much more readable.

Cardz out.
 
cardzmaster, that is incorrect. What I was taught is that each time a NEW person starts to talk, you start a new paragraph, not each time ANYONE starts to talk. That's why it is like that.

EDIT: And no, it's not my first fic. It's my 4th, I believe, and that's only including the ones about Pokemon.
 
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BT: Point taken, but still. most prose today starts a new paragraph each time another person begins to talk. Read anything by Dickens, Card, or any major write of fiction and you'll see this is true. whether you change the style or not is up to you, but I think it makes it a bit more readable. But that's just me. Don't change the whole thing for one person if you don't want to.

Hmm, maybe I'll jsut go ahead and start reposting my fic sometime soon. Sure, it'll just be a repost, but there needs to be some CaC representation in here. Anyone want to see it?
 
Cardzmaster2004 said:
BT: Point taken, but still. most prose today starts a new paragraph each time another person begins to talk. Read anything by Dickens, Card, or any major write of fiction and you'll see this is true. whether you change the style or not is up to you, but I think it makes it a bit more readable. But that's just me. Don't change the whole thing for one person if you don't want to.

Hmm, maybe I'll jsut go ahead and start reposting my fic sometime soon. Sure, it'll just be a repost, but there needs to be some CaC representation in here. Anyone want to see it?
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sure, I'll see it. Maybe we can even help eachother advertise? Like...advertise the other person's fic in our own? I dunno, it might help.
 
BT. as you said at the beginning of your last chapter you met me at nats and i said i liked your fic. i have a question though. how many more chapters do you plan on writing?
 
Waliken said:
BT. as you said at the beginning of your last chapter you met me at nats and i said i liked your fic. i have a question though. how many more chapters do you plan on writing?
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Good question...I honestly have no idea. Probably infinite, or something close to it, XD. I dunno, until I finish the storyline(which keeps adding to itself...), and then knowing me I'll prolly start a new storyline after it...
 
Charizardian said:
Well it ain't bad, but some quotes are pretty stupid and unneccesary.
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quotes? Do you mean dialogue?
Also, care to point out some examples?

And if you're referring to the chapter in the dimensional gate, I couldn't agree more...that's my least favorite chapter due to all the unnecessary math-type stuff.
 
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Alright an example is "Join us or die. Even if you choose die, you will still join us." I thought that was a little unneccesary.
 
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