Pokémon TCG: Sword and Shield—Brilliant Stars

Comedy

HRPrime

HRPrime

Active Member
(I was just bored XD ) (none of these are true to what happened in my life like Joke 2 doesn't)
Most of these jokes I did not come up with.


Bears and Worms are not alike, until you think of gummy.

I used to play base ball in a planetarium. We used the the Planets as the bases. We used the same formation outside, but everyone was WAY to far apart.

I think swimming is something you do for fun or in the event of danger. You always know what you are swimming for by what you are wearing. Bathing Suit, ok. Pant, uh oh. :eek:

I always wondered how much a Quarterback was worth.

In the Bible, some of the apostles were in a fishing boat. They all see Jesus on the shore and try to get to him. Peter, jumps in the water and swims to Jesus and gets there the same time the boat does.

I once saw a worker pushing 30 carts to a store and said, "You know, someone else might want to use one of those".

Cheerleaders are fun right? They have no idea in their head. "We got sprit yes we do, we got spirit but no IQ" or "Give me a P! Give me a O! Give me a K! Give me a E! Give me a G! Give me a Y! Give me a M! Whats that spell? Because we don't know".

Dialga always has time for his GF.

I wonder is Trubish is yummy.
 
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Some of them are lame, some of them don't make sense to me. The best one was probably the one about the Gummies.
 
Eh, pretty good. I have some.

"The very inventing of the flamethrower means that someone thought 'gee, I want to set those people on there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"

"I do not have a microwave, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff."

"The best stocking stuffer is always a severed foot."
 
Jokes are so bad that I laughed. Accomplishment? All I know are dumb Helen Keller jokes, and something about babies, blenders, and dorritos.
 
I know a lot of good jokes, but this is the PokeGym and that Starly won't fly.
 
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I like stand up. Don't go to comedy clubs though, mostly cause they all have bars and i'm underage. Mostly just comedy central stuff
 
Yeah, I like watching standup comedy on TV, there was something a few weeks back, can't remember what it was called. I also like funny things in general. I always try to say something witty and funny.
 
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I have a new joke :biggrin:

I went to the store to get a candle holder, they were out. So, I got a cake.
 
What's funnier: ten *insert something here, plural* in one trash can, or one *insert something here, singular* in ten trash cans?
 
Most TV standup is garbage/filler but anytime Mitch Hedburg, Daniel Tosh, Arj Barker or Lewis Black come on, magic happens.
 
Every joke in this thread makes me cringe. Comedy should be left to funny people and comedians, not pre-teens.

Moving on...

@kwisdumb: I watch a lot of comedy. Best stand-up comedians for me at the moment are Dylan Moran, Bill Bailey and Bill Hicks. Most stand-up comedians are just crude for the sake of being crude, try to appear intelligent or are just generally crap. Favourite TV comedy programs include Black Books, Father Ted, Fawlty Towers, The Simpsons, South Park, Flying Circus, Spaced and others.
 
A man and a bear walk into a bar, the bear then proceeds to go on a fiery rampage from being shoved into a bar, and the next day, a policeman finds 12 dead men.
 
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